I have always been a spiritual person by nature. When I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer this area of my life became stronger than ever. Most times these feelings went much deeper than words, and though I journaled specific events, I found that in most cases that words were clumsy excuses for the feelings I experienced.
During this time the Fear Monster loomed close and "whatifitis" was in the air. What if the surgery doesn't get all of the Cancer? What if we don't have enough money? What if I can't work? What if I never get to meet my boys' children? I discovered that too much time to think made life less sweet. World news seemed so full of gloom and doom that it invaded my peace of mind and got in the way of my spiritual health. I began to crave time away from everything because I found the chatter and noise of the world to be exhausting. This was a tricky balance to achieve because I had to live in the world without letting it overwhelm me.
I found spiritual harmony was more readily available and likely to happen if I slowed down the pace of my life. By slowing down I was able to keep my heart and mind open to spiritual promptings. It enabled me to turn my heart loose and let it rule my mind; to depend on God and learn to deal with situations as they presented themselves; to quit dreaming up trouble. Since so much of the world is in turmoil, inner peace became much more important to me than ever before. I learned it cannot be bought...it must be earned. The only peace we have is within ourselves so it is expedient for us to keep our spiritual centers strong.
With my spiritual center steady and in place, I felt a calm assurance that I was progressing as I should. This connection gave me a quiet sense of peace and power. I was able to take the focus off of me and think of others. I found there was a great difference between the prayers I offered and the prayers I answered. I didn't have to look far to find people with all kinds of problems and challenges. A kind word, a hug, a plate of cookies or a note in the mail could lift someone's heart in a significant way.
I remembered many years ago telling my boys when they studied for upcoming tests at school to "pray as if it all depends on God but work as if it all depends on you." This strategy also worked for me at this time of my life as I worked to stay spiritually grounded. I learned that prayer plus spiritual guidance resulted in miracles and I tried to incorporate this winning equation in my life.
While learning to put this concept into play, I found that opportunities to help,were all around me when I was spiritually in tune, and though many of these miracles were small, they still had huge significance in the lives of those I encountered. Kind words, a smile, and genuine expressions of concern are never wasted. I began to realize over time that I will probably never be rich or famous, but if I can make my circle of influence a little sweeter to those around me by staying spiritually connected, I have not failed.