Guest Post I have always been blessed with the gift of gab, which has served me well over the years. Although I am not quick on my feet in stressful situations, I have in most cases been able to converse with almost anyone. I find it interesting, however, that now in my middle aged years I respect another quality much more than the gift of gab. That is the ability to truly listen to another person. I mean to listen without planning your next comment; to listen from your heart with true concern for what the person has to say. I have been trying to improve myself in the respect. While I am not there yet, I am making progress. I heard someone say once that we have two ears and pne mouth so maybe we should listen twice as much as we talk. I found that statement to be good food for thought.
Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, one of my favorite authors, has this to say on the subject: "I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. And especially if it is given from the heart. When people are talking, there's no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they are saying. Care about it. MOST TIMES CARING ABOUT IT IS EVEN MORE IMPORTANT THAN UNDERSTANDING IT...It has taken me a long time to believe in the power of simply saying ,"I'm so sorry," when someone is in pain. And meaning it. In the old days I used to reach for the tissues, until I realized that passing a person a tissue may be just another way to shut them down, to take them out of their experience of sadness and grief. Now I just listen. When they have cried all they need to cry, they find me there with them. I have found that a loving silence has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well intentioned words."
In these tough times there are opportunities all around us to "just listen" to the many and varied concerns of others. While talking to people at the bank, I hear concerns from nearly everyone I help at my desk. I have found that truly listening to what they have to say without planning my next response, takes a load off of me and makes listening much more natural. While I am not where I need to be in this respect, I am proud to report that I AM making progress. Most times the situations we face do not have snap cures or quick fixes, but finding someone who will truly listen helps us work through our difficulties and find the appropriate solutions.
I have always been blessed with the gift of gab, which has served me well over the years. Although I am not quick on my feet in stressful situations, I have in most cases been able to converse with almost anyone. I find it interesting, however, that now in my middle aged years I respect another quality much more than the gift of gab. That is the ability to truly listen to another person. I mean to listen without planning your next comment; to listen from your heart with true concern for what the person has to say. I have been trying to improve myself in the respect. While I am not there yet, I am making progress. I heard someone say once that we have two ears and pne mouth so maybe we should listen twice as much as we talk. I found that statement to be good food for thought.
Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen, one of my favorite authors, has this to say on the subject: "I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. And especially if it is given from the heart. When people are talking, there's no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they are saying. Care about it. MOST TIMES CARING ABOUT IT IS EVEN MORE IMPORTANT THAN UNDERSTANDING IT...It has taken me a long time to believe in the power of simply saying ,"I'm so sorry," when someone is in pain. And meaning it. In the old days I used to reach for the tissues, until I realized that passing a person a tissue may be just another way to shut them down, to take them out of their experience of sadness and grief. Now I just listen. When they have cried all they need to cry, they find me there with them. I have found that a loving silence has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well intentioned words."
In these tough times there are opportunities all around us to "just listen" to the many and varied concerns of others. While talking to people at the bank, I hear concerns from nearly everyone I help at my desk. I have found that truly listening to what they have to say without planning my next response, takes a load off of me and makes listening much more natural. While I am not where I need to be in this respect, I am proud to report that I AM making progress. Most times the situations we face do not have snap cures or quick fixes, but finding someone who will truly listen helps us work through our difficulties and find the appropriate solutions.
Kathy Christensen
Survivor
Lifting Hearts Member