I welcome the New Year with recollection of the journey I have had endevoured battling cancer. The subdued submission forwards wishes and hopes for the betterment for my family and my life.
Off late I have heard about few deaths of those battling cancer mets especially the liver cases. The sad news gloomed my feeling and ripped apart my heart. It is not the death part for we know that is one guaranteed thing to end all livings.
The issue that scares me most is about the terminal conditions when cancer cells reigns its conquest and disrupts the body system. When pains are tormenting the body and becoming unbearable. Nearing death in that condition is the ultimate test to the faith and resilience. I fear I can't handle that.
This path of mine is full of wild cactus. So thorny but this is my path and I can't compare it with that of others. God puts me to walk on this thorny path and I have to learn the hard way to see the beauty of the cactus and be able to find the splendour of the blossoming flowers amongst the spikey hard and cruel looking cactus.
I have been blessed to savour my life this way. The lessons living with cancer are priceless. The spreading love that comes from everyone of you is magnanimous. The journey has been tumultuous but I don't regret it. This is my path and what crosses along the way are meant to be.
Many times I slumped when the downs were taking me so deep into the ditch. But Allah is indeed so merciful that when I thought I couldn't do it, He gave me the unimaginable strength to leap high out of the ditch and savour the sunshine again and again.
That my friends is what I reflected as the 31 reminders in Surah ar-Rahman: which of the many bounty must I deny?
That brings me to my humble corner that I must seek none other than God for the peace and solutions for my difficulties. Let God be my knight of the shining armour...