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Reading Glasses

Posted Sep 11 2009 2:12pm
I'm hell on reading glasses. I don't mean to be, but I am. It would be a lot easier if I could manage bifocals, but I'm uncoordinated, right down to my eyeballs. I could never get the hang of looking up and looking over, and I fell up stairs. I fell downstairs. They actually made me sick to my stomach, so I gave up on bifocals. I keep a half dozen pairs of reading glasses stashed because I'm so hard on them. Yesterday, I broke yet another pair. I'm not sure what I did this time. Breaking them is a novelty. I've only done that three or four times. Usually, I lose them. I slide them up on my head when I'm not using them, and pull them down on my face when I am. This habit has resulted in reading glasses being whipped from my head by branches while pushing my way through brush. I have tried putting them in a pocket, but they fall out of pockets. I've tried the chain around my neck thing, and have darn near throttled myself many a time. They have also pulled loose and gotten lost that way as well. I got a bright red pair of readers once. They looked ridiculous, but I figured they'd be easy to find when I lost them. I was in Weldbank, when a branch whipped back and sent them flying from my head. I looked high and low, but never found them. I lost a sturdy pair of metal readers in Saybrook. I actually stopped what I was doing to form up a search party. They were not found either. I am down to two pair of readers again, and I'm taking one pair of them to work with me. (That's the kiss of death for those.) That means this weekend, I'll go out and stock up on more reading glasses. Honestly. I have this notion that some day I'll be out and about, and a befuddled looking old bear will stroll by with a pair of bright red reading glasses pushed up on his grizzled old head. I recognize the look right away, and I will lean over and and whisper, "They're on your head..."
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