Rachel: a virtual friend who has put everything into perspective
Posted Feb 06 2012 6:15pm
Last Monday I had my big toenail removed. Because of fungus and mold that just wouldn’t quit, despite oral medication for over a year, I had to say goodbye to this piece of me. I probably lost it due to side effects of cancer treatment, due to Reynaud’s syndrome that I acquired as a sequela of chemo.
The pity party had just begun. Hadn’t I already suffered enough surgeries between my two episodes with cancer and a bone spur removed from my skull? All last week I couldn’t walk or run without pain. Without regular aerobic exercise, I was a mess. And this was just what the doctor ordered cosmetically for my self-esteem as a rejected wife: a deformed big toe as well as a swollen arm and no breasts. Aren’t I just the circus freak everyone wants to pet?
But wait! The fate of this mere nail pales in comparison to whom we lost today: an Internet friend, an inspirational fellow blogger named Rachel who like me was diagnosed with and treated for breast cancer. But because her cancer metastasized, she didn’t even live to the age that I attained at my first cancer diagnosis.
So how can I complain about loss of a toenail?
I never met Rachel in the flesh, but I did interact with her on her blog, The Cancer Culture Chronicles . She defined the word “feisty.” How I would love to have met her in person, to have engaged her in a lively discussion about pinktober. And now that opportunity is gone forever. She faced her stage IV cancer with grace beyond anything imaginable. Despite her downward medical spiral she continued to participate in weekly Twitter discussions and other forums related to breast cancer to let her unique perspective and personality be known.
Our days on earth are short. The years of my pilgrimage on earth thus far are fifty-nine. My life has been difficult, full of potholes. I’ll likely not see the full age of my forefathers due to all the stress and chemicals thrown at me by fate and fools alike. But still I’ve outlived dear ones like Rachel, who didn’t even reach what we now consider middle age.
Late last year our breast cancer blogosphere engaged in an exercise, thanks to Feisty Blue Gecko , of finding three words that could guide us for 2012. In a January 9, 2012 post , Rachel chose ”I’m still here.”
That’s it for now. I’m choking up. My fellow bloggesses will have much more to say in tribute to our beloved virtual friend in the days ahead. In the meantime, Rachel, thank you for how you enriched our lives. May your memory live on in the postings of others inspired by your courage and love. We will miss you greatly.
The pity party had just begun. Hadn’t I already suffered enough surgeries between my two episodes with cancer and a bone spur removed from my skull? All last week I couldn’t walk or run without pain. Without regular aerobic exercise, I was a mess. And this was just what the doctor ordered cosmetically for my self-esteem as a rejected wife: a deformed big toe as well as a swollen arm and no breasts. Aren’t I just the circus freak everyone wants to pet?
But wait! The fate of this mere nail pales in comparison to whom we lost today: an Internet friend, an inspirational fellow blogger named Rachel who like me was diagnosed with and treated for breast cancer. But because her cancer metastasized, she didn’t even live to the age that I attained at my first cancer diagnosis.
So how can I complain about loss of a toenail?
I never met Rachel in the flesh, but I did interact with her on her blog, The Cancer Culture Chronicles . She defined the word “feisty.” How I would love to have met her in person, to have engaged her in a lively discussion about pinktober. And now that opportunity is gone forever. She faced her stage IV cancer with grace beyond anything imaginable. Despite her downward medical spiral she continued to participate in weekly Twitter discussions and other forums related to breast cancer to let her unique perspective and personality be known.
Our days on earth are short. The years of my pilgrimage on earth thus far are fifty-nine. My life has been difficult, full of potholes. I’ll likely not see the full age of my forefathers due to all the stress and chemicals thrown at me by fate and fools alike. But still I’ve outlived dear ones like Rachel, who didn’t even reach what we now consider middle age.
Late last year our breast cancer blogosphere engaged in an exercise, thanks to Feisty Blue Gecko , of finding three words that could guide us for 2012. In a January 9, 2012 post , Rachel chose ”I’m still here.”
That’s it for now. I’m choking up. My fellow bloggesses will have much more to say in tribute to our beloved virtual friend in the days ahead. In the meantime, Rachel, thank you for how you enriched our lives. May your memory live on in the postings of others inspired by your courage and love. We will miss you greatly.
Rest in peace.