Not what I thought

I realized the other day that I am not back to my normal energetic self. I was thinking I was because I walk 5-8 miles a day but I have been delusional.

I fight fatigue daily. I have said this before and it bears repeating. It is a chronic side effect to treatment.

I have not cleaned my house since last October! (And I am a neat freak.) First I had a maid come in and now I have my son do it. BTW - he does a better job then the maids. I look at things that need to be done like lawn mowing, organizing, car cleaning, whatever and I get tired thinking about it.

I put all my energy into getting my steps done then I feel tapped. I am waiting for the day I gain energy by walking. I remember those days.

I am okay with this. I understand. I am just glad I am able to get the walking in and my job. Everything else is a bonus.

There were days, not that long ago, that I was happy if I got out of bed.

I go for my treatment again tomorrow. Will see my oncologist too. Will tell her about my NOT taking the Tamoxifen and see if she talks me back into it. She can be pretty persuasive in a friendly disarming way.

In spite of the fatigue and the joint pain and the breast cancer and the missing boob and life's general complaints..............I am enjoying life.

Because the alternative sucks.

L:)