I had to see the radiation oncologist today. I didn't realize it, but I am supposed to see him every week. When they took my blood pressure it was 187/110. It had run high, like that, while I was in the hospital, but I thought maybe it was just due to the clot. I hadn't checked it since I got out of the hospital because I can't take it on either arm and it's kind of hard to put your leg in the blood pressure machine at Walgreens. They recommended I see my primary care physician about my blood pressure. Jokingly she said, "we don't want to fight the cancer battle and lose to a stroke." So I guess a visit to that doctor is in store. Maybe he'll fix the low hemoglobin.
And on we went to radiation #5. It seems as though it's getting to be a regular routine. I like routine in my life. There seems to be a comfort in knowing what to expect each day. I walked in, scanned my computer card and walked back to the changing room. Although today I did go out on a limb and take a chance on a different door! It was door number 7 . I laughed at myself as I expectantly opened the door. I put my stuff in the locker and walked with Carl to the waiting area. Some of the same people are in the waiting area each day. Soon they called my name. Jared and Dennis greeted me as usual and I got settled on the table with my quilt over me. The machines started to whirl and alas the beautiful cross came into view.
I thought about how secure I felt in knowing the radiation routine didn't change. It makes it seem like everything is under control. I think that, if the machine was positioned differently, or they didn't radiate as many times, or it wasn't as long, I would worry something wasn't right. No changes. No surprises.
Most of us don't like it when changes are thrown at us in life. But whether we like it or not, life throws us curve balls. We can be journeying along, feeling quite comfortable in our routine, and in the blink of an eye, everything is different. Our life is changed. Sometimes, we find ourselves in a vast desert without a map.
But as I lay here on the table, staring at the cross in the ceiling, I am vividly reminded that no matter what changes occur in our lives, GOD NEVER CHANGES!"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." (Hebrews 13:8).
The cross that I am looking at in the ceiling today, has the very same meaning as the cross of 2000 years ago. It gives me a personal relationship with "the Alpha and the Omega, who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty." (Revelation 1:8).
What comfort we can take in knowing that no matter how much our lives are changed, there is One who is greater than any challenge we face. And whose love for us will never, ever change!