too long wanderingwithout its soothing reliefprivate oasis♦i see it clearlylush green trees and flowing streamsi’m almost there now♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
Although life has been great with the receding side effects and the renewing strength and stamina, I have not had a day in my oasis for a while. I think I have been too excited about feeling the renewal that I can’t stop thinking about what else I can do to enjoy the time and to enhance it as much as I can. Still, I really need the calm and joy of my oasis.
One of the issues with metastatic breast cancer is the sense that you never know when you are going to have to shift gears–it is almost like you are waiting for news all the time about whether the cancer is behaving or not and whether your body is agreeable to the treatment or not. When you get a phone call from your oncologist, especially one that you are not expecting, it is not hard to feel a surge of adrenalin as you answer the phone or return the call. My chemo nurse always immediately tells me why she’s calling; you can tell she has developed a high level of sensitivity in dealing with cancer patients over a number of years.
Because of this sense of urgency that can constantly bombard you–if you let it–I find I deal best with it by ignoring it. I just turn it off and set up my cancer-free zone, my oasis, for the day. I escape to other energies and immerse myself. Of course, I choose them depending on how I’m feeling at the time, but, nevertheless, I get the heck away from you know what . . . ok . . . I’m on my way now . . .