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Frequent Mammary Miles

Posted Feb 11 2010 1:52pm

©Brenda Coffee.  All rights reserved.

While waiting in pre-op for my second mastectomy and reconstruction surgery, I began to think breast cancer survivors should be able to accrue “frequent mammary miles” for each and every procedure we have done: mammograms, ultrasounds, chemo, radiation, surgeries, etc.  When we get enough “miles,” we could redeem them for a free trip to Las Vegas, or maybe a diamond bracelet.  After all, a mastectomy should be worth more than an upgrade to business class, or a free drink on an airline.  When I shared this idea with my husband, he just grinned and said, “I see the drugs are kicking in.”

That surgery is behind me, but I have one more to go—the removal of my saline-filled tissue expander and replacement with a permanent silicone gel implant, or as permanent as those things get.  If a Frequent Mammary Miles program were in place, I imagine I have earned enough points to get a diamond ring in exchange for my right mastectomy, a diamond necklace for my left mastectomy and a pair of matching earrings for getting through chemotherapy.  I have never been a diamond kind-of-girl, having been happier with a trip to a Mayan ruin or a ride on an Iditarod dog sled in Wyoming, but recently, those sparkly stones have begun to peak my interest.

Next month, my husband and I are going to Las Vegas, so he can play in the World Series of Poker.  Mind you, this will not be a free trip, plus I will be working on the website and sending you daily blogs.  Perhaps James will even win big and buy me that bracelet I saw last year at the Wynn Hotel.  They say diamonds are forever, but breast implants are not.  If Frequent Mammary Miles become a reality, that’s not all bad, you know.  More implants equals more miles:)
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