Excited!

Photo Taken From cupin_album

Alhamdulillah, praise and grace are to Allah for giving me the strength bracing my first hurdle undergoing the chemo treatment. I have not experienced (so far, and hope will not) the worse side effects of consuming the Xeloda pills.

Off late the mind is thinking about the Ramadhan month. Hoping and praying that this time, my tadarrus will not be troubled by the short-of-breath or tiredness and the fasting can be full for a month with the prayers be blessed and granted more imaan and ihsan to become more humble than who I am today.

Because of the excitement, I have started with the springcleaning and doing the room-to-room housekeeping. I did 1 room a day as not to exert myself while I have the energy doing so. For the boys' room, they cleaned it themselves. I even have this temptation for susunitis (borrowing Kak puteri's term for a tendency to rearrange furnitures). I make the area for solats more comfortable too and hope during Ramadhan, I can focus into my Ibadah. Living without a househelper or a maid, I have to start cleaning the house now and do it space by space, little by little while watching myself taking such a task. When I am tired, I stop for a while and continue when I have gained the strength back.

Awesome! That is my feeling when I see the house is neater and cleaner. The dust has been piling on the furnitures for too long. I feel good too as I sweat profusely while mopping the floors. The smell of a Lavender aroma releases some serotonin for me to relax as I slump into the sofa while drinking the green veggies and fruits concoction on every break from the housekeeping task. Overall, even though at times the back pain travels to my femur bones or thigh, and cause me to have difficulty to get up in the morning or walk around the house, my mind is not troubled by it at all. It is peaceful and very serene inside. Alhamdulillah....

This is the love from the AlMighty. He shows His Great Mercy that I am given this strength and ease. This is so comforting. My moments with Him have been in solidarity too and every member in the family is doing the same thing with their solat hajat for us to be given the mercy for the best it, is the cure. And my parents are planning that another solat hajat is performed tonight at their house. They have a bigger house and hence can accomodate more than 40 people. At this moments, the Imam, some ustaz, all uncles and aunties, my neighbours, and my siblings have agreed to come to Bapak's house tonite. I will join them insyaAllah in tonite's Hajat Prayer.

We put in our effort to try the many ikhtiar and ask from Him that in our effort to try, He gives us the cure, InsyaAllah.

Ramadhan this year is very much awaited. It marks another blessing for me, to be able to fast and be with my family and friend, for another year. Last year I managed to fast for 15 days despite the bad ordeal undergoing the chemo treatment. I pray hard that this year, I am able to perform it full term.

Ramadhan is a blessed month. God opens all gates of the heaven, closes the gates to hell and captivates all satans and devils. This month is the month for the AlMighty. All fasting and Ibadah in the Ramadhan month will be granted Jannah. This month is the month to test our inner Jihad for our greater nafs and senses (the heart, eyes and ears must play their roles in fasting too) not just to refrain our body from drinking and eating starting from Imsya' to Iftar. This month is the month to purify our soul. Let's all start with purifying the heart and do so by forgiving. Forgive me dear friends for I know, as a human being, I sure have hurt your feelings by any ways not intended either in my tone of writing, talking, or by means of those actions or body language of mine. And you all have not done anything wrong to me, and if it is comforting for you, yes dear, I have forgiven all of you....

The Qur'an juz Al-A'raf verse 199 mentions: Hold to forgiveness; command what is right; but turn away from the ignorant. Let's clean our heart from the black dots that start from anger, hatred, revenge and all the negativities.

Thank you for the continuous supplications and prayers dear friends. Your words of support have undoubtedly injected not only comfort in my heart, but also some magical strength for me to smile. I appreciate your virtual visits, my friends. May God bless you all.

Ramadhan Kareem dear friends and may we all gain stronger Hidayah and more Imaan, rahmah and barakah... ameen.

Bounced and posted by Raden Galoh