It's been a long weekend. I dealt with low blood counts before, just a little, but this time my white blood count dropped very low. I'm exhausted. For the first time, putting together a post seems like way too much effort. Yesterday, I took both a morning and an afternoon nap.

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Life swirls on around me. Brianna got a job. Tim got a deer. Mike came up and went hunting and got both a nice buck and a nice doe. The Christmas season goes on without me. My world has narrowed to this: sleeping, slogging down for a daily neupogen shot, pushing myself to get through the day. I am trying to be graceful about it. I'm reading a great book, 'The People of the Whale', by Linda Hogan. I'm trying to be as productive as I can be while accepting these new limits on my own energy. I'm trying to use this time for praying.

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It just feels as if my life has become very self centered.

It makes me ashamed.

I keep reminding myself that it is temporary.