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Better than I thought ~

Posted Aug 26 2008 4:22pm
Doing well. Have washed my own hair in kitchen sink. Can move arms around more each day but do it slowly. "Lift" side achey with stabs of pain or burning. Mastectomy side still strangely numb, tight, UGLY and itchey. I don't lift anything heavy. (Although I just couldn't resist gently picking up my Stell-Bell twice yesterday. shhhhh)



Des, Hannah (and the toddlers) picked me up yesterday afternoon and we went out for lunch and some shopping. It was good to get out. I moved slow and took it easy. So fun to be with the grandbaby. Stella just brightens my soul! She is such a little Diva! Her & Eli are so funny together. Giggling cousins.



Going to S&T's on Sunday never happened. Hoping to see them sometime this week.



Sneezing is not recommended! I just sneezed.....Oweee!



I took off my bandages yesterday AM. They were just loosley hanging off my shoulder anyway. I have on a soft cami and I cut out a side hole for the drain and cut up the elastic on the shelf bra area so there is no tightness on the chest. It works. Besides - nothing could make my chest look good right now - it's all about comfort.



Got to see my chest in all it's glorious deformity! Not pretty. Cancer leaves such ugliness behind. Sometimes it just doesn't feel real. Like I am dreaming this? How could my life, my body be this right now? How did this happen? Strange. A crack in my reality. My sanity is on a tilt-a-wheel!



I am going to post a pic of my mastectomy side. I think it's important to show the scar. Then watch the progress as it heals. So be warned! This blog is not about prettiness anyway!



It's about BREAST CANCER, COURAGE, FEAR, UGLINESS, DARKNESS, HOPE, LOVE, SUPPORT, LIFE, TRUTH, WEAKNESS & STRENGTH.



I am still taking an Ativan at night.



Probably will for the next year & 1/2. Something to save my sanity. Keep me from "Freaking Out!"



The itching gets worse towards evening. Not a fun feeling.



My drain is down to 20mil AM & PM. I need to get down to 30mil total for a 24 hour period before the DR will remove it. So it doesn't look like Dr F will be removing it today. Bummer.



I will see the ladybugs after Dr F today @ Panera's. Yeah!



Taylor is with me and has been a great help. (Steve is back at work.) Taylor keeps me laughing. Gosh - How I love my children. I don't deserve them - they are so awesome!!



My dad is in the hospital in FL for his heart. He has been having attacks so he is where he should be. They will do some testing today to see if he needs another stint. Hopefully they will fix him up good and send him home quickly. I worry about him.



I REALLY miss my Mom. And Lottie.



L
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