Anger

I have a problem. This problem is that I have never learned how to deal with other people's anger. The biggest hurdle, for me anyway, is that invariably, the angry person will try to blame his anger on someone else. As in, no matter what, s/he would be a happy and contented person if it were not for me pissing on their parade. At 51, I have learned to sit quietly and watch. It has never failed. After a lifetime of being told that every problem my mother ever had, every irritation, was my fault, I backed out a couple of years ago, accepting that it was futile to try to work things out. My mom is 70 now. The situation will not change. And even though I backed out, what I find is that my mother is still an angry, angry woman, even two years after I'm gone. This is just one example, but it's always true, no matter who I'm dealing with. An angry person is an angry person whether I'm standing there or not.

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This work situation has been weighing heavily. I requested that the situation be brought before the personnel committee. I expect that what will happen is this: After years of dealing with angry people, I'm going to find out, for once and for all:

Am I to blame?

And it will be a relief, in a way, to hear the unbiased answer.