Has it really been 4 months since I last posted? Shocking!! It is because nothing at all has moved forward since my last post, in fact it has all gone backwards. They cancelled my surgery the night before I was due in. I was ready, after months of pondering, preparing for its coming, I was ready and again the rug was pulled from under me. Great!
I was so annoyed that I told them I couldn't go through that again in a hurry so not to rebook it within the next 2 weeks, my studies were getting busy and deadlines looming for assignments. A week later I got another surgery appointment - with a weeks notice. I sat on it for a while, waited for the confirmation message they always send to your home phone for you to accept or decline the appointment. At that moment I would decide how I as feeling and whether I could go through with it. I was so scared they would make things more uncomfortable or make my scars worse, infection etc. The day before the surgery I planned to call them and find out what was going on if I had heard nothing. I got a phone call at 11am from my PS surgeon's secretary and this is how it went;
Secretary: Hello. I am phoning to confirm your surgery is scheduled for tomorrow.
Me: Hello. Um, I haven't had the usual advance telephone message to accept or decline the appointment.
Secretary: Oh, I see..well are you coming in or not?
Me: I am not sure. I did ask for it not be scheduled so soon as my studies will seriously suffer. I can't keep messing about with my life.
Secretary: So are you coming in tomorrow or not?
Me: I would have to say no now, I am sorry.
Secretary: Oh great! You could have let us know sooner. Now we have a large gap in the surgery schedule!
Me: Excuse me? When I last saw my surgeon he told me not to worry about cancelling, he would read a book instead. He knew how unsure I was, how scared I am to come in again. He also said that they can take this reconstruction process at MY pace.
Secretary: Right. I shall take you off the waiting list then.
Me: Um, okay. I will go back through the system when I feel I can face it again. I am sorry but I just can't do it now, as I explained.
Secretary: (She hung up on me).
Me: How polite! I LOVE NHS secretaries, you are all SO people people!
I was livid! Livid! She was so rude. I don't think she gave a rats ass that I was seriously concerned.
No surgery for me for a while. I didn't have it done and I am still thinking about it. I think I will go back to the GP to restart the process in May so I can go in over the summer. I have a serious phobia about vomiting bugs and the outbreaks in the hospitals in winter just freak me out. Winter hospitalisation would be my idea of hell on Earth!
So I am still as I was. Well, actually that is not true. I am STILL suffering with my neck injury and 'YAY' I have to have an MRI scan. The physio signed me off back to the GP as she couldn't help me after 4 months. Recently I have had numbness, pain and tingling in my shoulders and hands - not good! I can't carry my laptop into uni anymore and driving is very uncomfortable. Bloody hell - give me a break someone?
AND on top of that I have the cough from hell. 5 weeks now. I lost my voice and then the cough started, antibiotics didn't touch it and I am not taking another round I was given by my GP, that would be 3 lots in less than 2 months! Nope. I have already picked up a snotty cold on top of the cough. My poor immune system is really suffering. Before September I hadn't had a cold for 6 years!!
What a whinge that was. Better out than in as they say! I hope to post some nicer news next time. Maybe Race for Life in Plymouth?