I was in town yesterday. I had only popped in to go to one shot to buy one book but happened to be walking down the high street just as they were trying to fill a class room of volunteers to be models as newly recruited hairdressers learned how to do things the 'Rush' way.
'Do I want a free hair cut?' Well, right now, why not! I thought. I was then asked if I had some free time. I could certainly spare an hour or two. I didn't anticipate the cut to take over 3 hours but it was worth it. The poor girl had to have each step checked and the tutor corrected things. This is worth remembering if you are ever invited to be a model for a session like this. The tutor's check every single stage and re-do bits. It takes a long time as you often have to wait for them to come over but it does mean your cut is really done by an expert. She suggested a 'triple c-section' to me, that sounded more like childbirth and, as a Mum of three children born by c-section, it seemed a very appropriate cut for me. I am happy with it so am pleased that I won't struggle to remember what it is called. I will certainly be looking for a 'Rush' salon next time as it is one of their techniques.
Meanwhile, things are setting at home. Emotionally, it is harder than I thought but I will get there. I am so grateful to my fantastic friends for all the wonderful love and support this week. It has made a huge difference and really boosted my confidence. I will certainly be making sure that we see as much of you all as possible over the coming months. We have some fantastic friends, some of whom we haven't known for very long, and you are all terrific. Ellie has struggled the most out of the children. Hope and Paul don't really have any love lost as they clashed and neither never really bothered to try with each other. William is remarkably cool about it but he is an adaptable little fellow. I am getting a lot of cuddles and he is seeking some reassurances that I will be there in the morning, after school, at bedtime etc... He knows I will as I have always been there throughout all his stays in hospital. I can tell how much that means to him and that means a lot to me. Lots of people have told me that they saw me as a single parent any way and, in many ways, I was. I think there is often a very special bond among single parent families and I think my relationship with the children will be even better. The house already seems to be full of a lot more laughter and we are all mucking in together. I have a good routine and William has been on the school bus on time with everthing he needs every morning. I did wake about 5 minutes later today, well I say wake, I woke at 5, thanks to my white curtains and leaving the radio on all night, but dosed and got up a touch too late. Waking that little later, with no one to ask to get him dressed while I did the meds, did take it all a bit close to the line but we got there. Hope is going to learn how to do a few things for Wills to lighten the load on me a bit but I am not going to let her become too responsible for him. It isn't fair. There is no harm in her learning bits and pieces to help me out though. I do worry how we will manage if I get ill. I guess he would go to the hospice for a few days if I got really laid down. I am also so lucky to have William's wonderful one-to-one carer, Sue, who also baby sits for me so I can get out there and have a life. William's bus escort lives round the corner too so I asked if she could baby sit from time to time if Sue was not around. There are a couple of others who can do so too if I remain close by.
I am making big plans for my future now too. I am working hard to make a real go out of the writing and photography and making concrete plans to achieve my aims. There are also a couple of other things on the horizon. It is all very exciting really and they are all things that I know my journey over the last few years has led me too and, if I am honest with myself, a lot of these are things that my relationship with Paul inhibited a bit. One interesting thing is that the house is full of singing. We all love singing but, when you live with a pro, you tend to shut up when he is around. We have been belting out the songs from 'Wicked' all week. William stops us all the time to ask questions about 'Why is the witch sad?' and 'Why did no-one like her?' Then, I have to go into the role play of being the witch for a game with him. It is all good fun.
I have been suddenly noticed how many women who inspire me are single Mums...loads of them! The world of creative writing and art seems to be full of single Mums. Maybe it is true that behing every great man is a great woman but perhaps it doesn't work so well the other way round!