This isn’t a poem, but some thoughts that were running through my mind as I look back on getting home from my west coast adventure:
I’ve joined again the reality of my life routine
after time spent with friends across the states
I was so proud of how my PD body coped on the trip
but once home a combo of jet lag and the delayed physical overload on my body ….came and hit me hard.
I sat in a chair most of one day waiting on meds to work and help me move
When I walked I scooted and found I could do little productive work
I had slept well for once but now my body seems encased
and I speculate if the next day would be any better or not
On top of returning home, the regular schedule resumed
with extra items falling in the empty spaces of time each day
I want to scream and say “just let me catch up to the normal routine!!!”
for I know the extras will make my PD hard to rein in
There I go trying to think I can push through it all
but in my heart, I know there will be consequenses should I go it alone
So I tuck my pride inside and ask for some help to stem the tide
It is not getting any easier to meet my goals after 6 years of PD invading my body.
It causes some emotional pain when grander goals can no longer be obtained
But adventures are still worth planning, attempting, and achieving ..
even if they are not as grand and the speed to accomplish them is going down.
so I set smaller goals and celebrate ones that are accomplished…and it adds to my joy.
Some days the accomplishments may be few and most insignificant
depending on how demanding of my strength PD becomes
but as long as I can have some hope, and strive to cross even a small finish line
I’ll have pride that I have not let PD win
And minute by minute, day by day, year by year,
I will endure until someone finds a cure
or until my Maker says it is time to be made new in a permanent home
then I will lay down and my mind and heart will be content
I’m seeing that through the bad PD days
so much like an overcast day with lots of rain
there can come the minutes or even seconds …
of sunshine and blessing like a beautiful rainbow.
I’m hoping at the end of one of my rainbows
there will not be a pot of gold but a pot with plenty of PD cure inside
but if it never comes to be, may I still stand in wonder
….at what my God has brought me through
…..and give Him the honor and glory in all I do!
Judy Hensley 3/26/09