And a part of me is a little relieved. This summer has been a very active one for me, involving a lot of exercise and new experiences so much of it, and so much good stuff, that I’ve gone a bit overboard, in the past few months. I was just so excited to be doing things I never thought I could do, that I crammed my days full of doing them sometimes to the exclusion of what “regular” things I was supposed to be doing.
With all those daylight hours, I actually seemed to have fewer of them at my disposal.
Part of the problem, as usual, has been fatigue. I’ve been dealing with it for so long, that I’ve gotten into the habit of rushing things and pushing myself, because I don’t know how much more energy I’m going to have. I want to wring every last little bit of experience out of life and savor it all a sort of “life gluttony”. Especially since I started getting back from the la-la land of TBI cluelessness, I’ve really craved the sensations of life. And I haven’t always done a good job of tempering my enthusiasm.
It’s time to do that, though. Summer’s winding down, the kids are going back to school, and it’s time to get back to work again. The endless hours at the lake, the long lingering walks on back roads, the hours spent puttering around… that was fine for the summer, but now I need to buckle down and take care of some business.
This is a tough one. How will I replace the motivation and rewards I got from swimming and roaming around and taking it easy, with autumn and winter activities? I need some sort of feedback from the universe to keep me going, and I have to locate a new source.
Maybe this winter I’ll set some new goals for myself. There is a lot of writing I need to finish, and I want to take a self-study course in exercise science, a subject that fascinates me. I also need to clean out my home office and make some choices about what I want to do with the space. I have to do some home repairs, and I need to take better care of my marriage. I have a lot of improvements to make. I guess this fall and winter will be the time to do them.
Oh – my biggest goal? Getting better sleep. I’ve been lax about my sleeping hours, being so caught up in my activities. I’ve fallen behind and I’m feeling the burn. It’s not helping me at work or at home. I need to address this.
And so I shall. It’s harvest time in many areas of the world, and it’s time for me to take stock of the past season or two, see where I’m at and where I’m going… and figure out how to get there.