“I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my
rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the
Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies. The cords of
death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of
the grave coiled around me; the snakes of death confronted me. In my distress I
called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears. – Psalm 18:1-6
To tell you for myself, I’m struggling to know my
true purpose in life and I sense that this purpose question has tested you
besides me. Are you hearing me? You are anxious and sometimes unwilling to
improve yourself. I now not only see, but realize how easy it is for you to
consistently fall into sin as easily as you fall out of bed.
I found myself committing one of the seven deadly
sins unbeknown to my battered body. Thought I was an innocent bystander with a
cause, primarily my own self – preservation. My sin of choice was pride wrapped
in a cloak of righteous redemption for all women kind (while asking to forgive
me, meaning no disrespect). Before the court of life, I do admit to languishing
a tad too long on the canvas of life after that ultimate self inflicted
knockout! But longer still reconnecting with the God power within me.
You have to understand that at that point in my
life there was a war raging inside me! It is a time to let go and let God be in
control, you cannot keep holding on because it’s all too painful. Spiritual
breath is a time to exhale and recognize that you have what it takes for
victory. My experience with a brain injury “invisible disability” was a
beginning of a spiritual breath and you have to understand I was once told by
my doctor I had “Encephalopathy” swelling around my brain. “Impossible!” I had
said.” I was getting ready to hit the North Carolina circuit! I can remember
quite clearly telling the doctor that “I’m going to box!” “I got to box!”
“Nothing is stopping me!” I didn’t care to understand, it was a flurry of sonic
sucker punches to admit that my boxing career was over.
I did indeed go against my doctor’s sound advice.
Greensboro, N.C had a top contender of the world, a heavy handed woman. “One
blow from her, I’m sure any female boxer will be stopped. Well, of course my
fight was stopped in the third round; the boxing ring side doctor took one look
at me and ended the fight. They thought the heavy handed boxer had broken my
nose and I had taken too many blows to the head. Come on! I was just fine, let
me be! I was strong enough to take her on. Was this suicidal to take this
fight? Here are some lessons I learned
#1 over coming road blocks ahead
and being prepared in everything you do. #2 Making a decision to change #3 Most
importantly – to see yourself a winner #4 Communication #5 Having the
willingness and ability #6 Patience.
To be alive means to experience difficulties,
conflicts, challenges from many directions. What you do with adverse conditions
both determines and is determined by who you are.