Here in Santa Cruz for a day. We left temperatures of 103 degrees (on the porch, in the afternoon heat) and are now in fog at 74 degrees. It’s almost downright cold.
The drive down was mostly uneventful. I was able to get a few little naps in. Haven’t been sleeping well the past couple of weeks. Guess I’m on the ‘no sleep’ cycle again at night, so if you see me in the night owl forum, don’t be surprised. However, I like to write when I can’t sleep and sometimes I even end up falling asleep. I know how long I’ve been asleep by the number os ‘k’s that are on my screen when I awake, as my finger has a tendency to rest on the key when I doze off with the computer on my lap…
We will complete the remainder of the trip tomorrow. Husband says perhaps at eight in the evening to avoid the dessert heat. That’s okay, but I do love the scenery on the way down and I don’t think I have a flashlight big enough to see it all as we pass by. Whatever will be, will be.
A friend told me today that she misses seeing my ‘writing’. I have been reading a book called ‘One Thousand Gifts’. It is life changing and while I have implemented its practices, I am however struggling with this blog. You see, I am learning that I cannot please all of the people, all of the time. Within the last 3-4 week, I have received comments regarding my blog talking too much about Parkinson’s disease (I’m not sure what I should exactly be talking about on here, considering it is a blog about PD). I’ve received a message that it is not funny enough and needs more humor, and lastly, I talk about Jesus. I can talk about God and not be offensive, but I talk about Jesus and that offends some.
What to do… what to do…
In my muddled brain, I mull over these comments, opinions, suggestions, whatever you choose to call them. I realize they are merely opinions. I realize people are trying to be helpful. I realize everyone has their own expectations of what a blog on Parkinson’s disease should look like.
In my struggle, which I realize should not be a struggle, I know I need to be true to who I am. However, all of my life I have been a people-pleaser and yet, I am still learning that I set myself up for failure trying to please others. It’s an impossible task. If you please one person, inevitably you will alienate another. What to do?
There have been times when I’ve wanted to quit, but something keeps me going. Rebellion? Stupidity? No. Although I must admit, I can be rather rebellious at times. I can be even ornery at times. However, likeI said – something keeps me going. And it is this…
Almost twenty years ago I was diagnosed with Lupus, which eventhually led to a diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease. For ten years I took medication which masked symptoms of another disease. When I was properly diagnosed seven years ago with PD, it was more a relief than not. I was now being properly treated and cared for by my doctor. When I began to reflect back and reflect forward and share my story in the process to those who asked, I began journaling my experience and eventually founded Parkinson’s Journey.
The mission was simple… “To offer encouragement and support to those who are walking the path of Parkinson’s disease.” That was my goal, my desire. I wanted a place where I could share my experiences, knowledge as I learned more, and have it be not only accurate, but lighthearted in many respects. I believed that God gave me this calling and so I obeyed.
I think I have stayed true to ‘my mission’. I hope that I have. I hope that others in the PD community, whether a patient, a partner, or a person merely glimpsing into the life of a PD person, has been encouraged, felt supported, or learned something along the way. I know that not one of us can be all things to all people and that is not my goal. That is an impossibility. At least, I have learned, it is for me.
And so, what to do…
I will continue Parkinson’s Journey, it only one person is every encouraged. I will keep on if only one person feesl they have someone walking this road beside them. I will keep Jesus in my words, for He is the most important part of my life. And, I will have humor in my posts when humor is there at my fingertips, but to be honest – funny things can happen when you have PD but realistically, PD is not a funny thing. PD is the type of disease that can often mask itself for some people. You can look great and be in a lot of pain. On those days, I may feel joy but I don’t laugh. I am hurting, tired from not sleeping well, or whatever else the little monster cares to throw at me (us) that day.
And so… you may stick with me here at Parkinson’s Journey and read my ramblings should you choose to, or feel free to find another source of encouragement through another blog or different means, but I must be true to who I am. I love Jesus. I will not mind should you choose to find another blog, newsletter, etc. to read because of that, nor will I find it offensive should you choose to believe other than what I believe. I have Parkinson’s disease and feel called to encourage and support others along the same path and so you will find me talking about Parkinson’s disease. And… as there is humor in life, so there is in many of my posts. However, life with PD isn’t always funny and there are days my posts will reflect that (hopefully in a positive way!).
Meanwhile, how about you? What have you been struggling with because of PD? What struggle/experience have you overcome because of PD? What blessings have you run into because of PD? What are you thankful for – because of PD?