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Overcoming Little Monster

Posted Nov 20 2013 12:48am

I don't feel very good.

 

My stomach feels nauseous

because my head hurts,

and my head hurts because

I can't stop gritting my teeth,

which only adds to the stiffness

in my neck,

which makes my back hurt more,

which makes me want to yell,

“ENOUGH ALREADY!”

 

but

 

I am not going to yell

for who would I yell to, anyhow?

 

It's all part of Little Monster's plan:

 

Pick an innocent bystander.

Get inside their head.

Turn the knob on the basal ganglia a quarter of a turn.

It won't take much –

it's a small, little, tiny thing.

 

Yet

in that oh-so-small, little, tiny thing

lies the key to Little Monster's plan.

The plan to take over your life.

To put a stop to

the production of dopamine cells.

No one knows

how Little Monster enters,

no one knows

which knob he turns

in his quest to rule your body.

 

But it works.

 

Production has stopped -

or at least slowed -

and you begin to feel different.

Strange.

Off-balance.

You stumble.

You shake.

Your movements no longer belong to you.

 

You begin to take a pill for this.

And then you take a pill for that.

And before you know

you have a handful.

 

You wonder why you're sad

and then all of a sudden you're not.

And when you're not

you wonder why you ever were.

 

And it goes around

and around

and around.

 

Your toes curl in

your legs cramp up

and your hands and arms

take part in the plan

and you are left

feeling pain

and disfigurement

and despair

and loss.

 

And you grieve

for what was

for what could have been

for what is now.

 

But –

 

then you have

a good day.

A day with sunshine

although hidden

behind the clouds.

You see the rays break through

and you turn your face toward them,

just to soak in the healing warmth.

 

And they do warm you.

They warm the muscles

from your head

to your toes

and

you feel like

you just might

make it through another day,

because Little Monster

has gone to sleep.

 

He cannot overcome

the one

who decides

to overcome him.

 

And –

 

we can all overcome

if we put one shaky foot

in front of the other

take another step,

and smile.

Because that's one

thing Little Monster didn't count on…

to see a beautiful smile

on a face he turned to stone.

 

The post Overcoming Little Monster appeared first on Parkinson's Journey .

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