Yesterday I had an appointment with a brain tumor specialist at UCLA Medical Center. First of all it cost $8 just to park! I can't imagine having to go there often and paying $8 to park every time, that's just wrong! I had a 1pm appointment and they asked me to be there by 12:30pm to fill out paperwork. I arrived around 12:20pm and filled out my paperwork. I was finally taken back to a patient room at 1:30pm. I sat and waited and waited and waited. Finally the nurse came in to ask me some questions around 2:20pm. She left me around 2:40pm and a doctor finally came to talk to me at around 3:15pm. He said there is nothing they can do for me, we just have to wait and see if there is any change. What a waste of time and money. I know its great that I don't need any more treatment right now, its just that they have no idea if anything will change and they said there is a good chance that more will appear sometime in the future. He also didn't believe my theory that because I had enough radiation to make my hair fallout that it could be enough to keep future tumors from forming, but he did think it would be enough to keep those that were targeted from growing. I, for one, like my theory that there was enough radiation pumped into my brain to keep new tumors from forming!
I left UCLA around 3:45pm and went home.
Nothing was on TV last night so I watched "Clash of the Choirs" I had it on my DVR. I loved it, I am recording the performances onto DVD right now! I just love how music can touch me and move me and make me laugh and cry! Man, I just want to go out and join a choir! Of course I live in Los Angeles so actually getting into a choir would be difficult! I looked for one online and couldn't find anything. I will just have to settle to belting out songs along to my iPod in my car! Music is a wonderful thing though. Its amazing how it can affect how you feel at any given moment. Some of the songs they sang on that show made me cry and some just lifted me up. Yesterday I also continued transfering my records to my computer. Hearing some of those songs again for the first time and many years was just wonderful. Music can also bring back memories. I am disappointed with my Scott Baio album. I thought that the theme song from Joanie Loves Chachi was on it, but sadly it is not. There are a couple songs from the show though.
I have found myself being slightly depressed this past week. I am not quite sure why, I should be happy, my health seems to be doing really well. I guess I am just afraid of what is next. I really hope the worst is over, but I have a slight suspicion that there is a part of me that wants something to happen so I can stay on disability, at least until the strike ends. For all I know the strike could end tomorrow so I shouldn't worry about it, but I guess it is in my nature to worry. So I have started to read a book that a friend lent to me. It is called "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay. I really like it so far. It deals with learning to love yourself and how your love for yourself can bring love into your life and heal what ails you. This is something I have been working on for years, and I am way better than I used to be, but I still tend to put myself down for certain things, like being overweight and being a slob, so I need to learn to not put myself down. I also need to learn to clean more and to lose weight and according to this book when I have completely let go and learned to love myself for home I am the weight will automatically start to come off. I have heard this before. I do think I keep myself heavy, subconsciously, to keep my protected. I have my weight to blame for never being in a relationship... I am also going to take a class on meditation. I think that will be very helpful too.
"When our intention is geared toward love, when we trust that the deeper, mystical part of us is always lying beneath these negative feelings waiting for a chance to surface, the letting go becomes easier. It's almost as though we're getting out of our own way so that we can come back to this mystical state of love, this most natural state of being." ...by James and Salle Merrill Redfield.
TTFN
I left UCLA around 3:45pm and went home.
Nothing was on TV last night so I watched "Clash of the Choirs" I had it on my DVR. I loved it, I am recording the performances onto DVD right now! I just love how music can touch me and move me and make me laugh and cry! Man, I just want to go out and join a choir! Of course I live in Los Angeles so actually getting into a choir would be difficult! I looked for one online and couldn't find anything. I will just have to settle to belting out songs along to my iPod in my car! Music is a wonderful thing though. Its amazing how it can affect how you feel at any given moment. Some of the songs they sang on that show made me cry and some just lifted me up. Yesterday I also continued transfering my records to my computer. Hearing some of those songs again for the first time and many years was just wonderful. Music can also bring back memories. I am disappointed with my Scott Baio album. I thought that the theme song from Joanie Loves Chachi was on it, but sadly it is not. There are a couple songs from the show though.
I have found myself being slightly depressed this past week. I am not quite sure why, I should be happy, my health seems to be doing really well. I guess I am just afraid of what is next. I really hope the worst is over, but I have a slight suspicion that there is a part of me that wants something to happen so I can stay on disability, at least until the strike ends. For all I know the strike could end tomorrow so I shouldn't worry about it, but I guess it is in my nature to worry. So I have started to read a book that a friend lent to me. It is called "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise L. Hay. I really like it so far. It deals with learning to love yourself and how your love for yourself can bring love into your life and heal what ails you. This is something I have been working on for years, and I am way better than I used to be, but I still tend to put myself down for certain things, like being overweight and being a slob, so I need to learn to not put myself down. I also need to learn to clean more and to lose weight and according to this book when I have completely let go and learned to love myself for home I am the weight will automatically start to come off. I have heard this before. I do think I keep myself heavy, subconsciously, to keep my protected. I have my weight to blame for never being in a relationship... I am also going to take a class on meditation. I think that will be very helpful too.
"When our intention is geared toward love, when we trust that the deeper, mystical part of us is always lying beneath these negative feelings waiting for a chance to surface, the letting go becomes easier. It's almost as though we're getting out of our own way so that we can come back to this mystical state of love, this most natural state of being." ...by James and Salle Merrill Redfield.
TTFN