First it was this, then it was that
and finally knew it was PD
when the doctor gave me his final diagnosis
at the young age of just 43.
Twitching and tremors, loss of smell
and no more a sense of taste
comes to those who carry whatever it is
that ultimately decides our fate.
Everyone might think they understand
what’s going on inside of me
but how could they begin to know
when they’ve never had this disease?
The symptoms are treated with different therapies
Sinemet, Azilect, and more pills galore
to treat the symptoms you already have
while granting you with at least a few more.
Shaking and twitching, while stumbling and falling
are just a few things that might be
but you won’t know what’s really going on
inside of the me that you can’t see.
The frustration and heartache of things
that I don’t fully or completely understand
things like – why I can no longer taste, nor anything smell
or hold anything with my hand.
The muscles are weak, though the spirit is strong-
that’s a part of what makes this so sad -
If I didn’t care about what this is doing to me
Would that make it seem not so bad?
Still – I wonder if, in five more years
if I’ll be able to dress myself and get out the door
there are so many things left for me to do in this life
smell the roses, hold my grandchildren and so much more.
There are times all I want to do is plop down and rest
the pain in my body is telling me to stop
but the fight inside tells me to “Continue! Go on!”
so it’s “Keep on keeping” ’til I drop!”
I suppose I could rest more for another day
but for another day of what?
To sit and watch life pass me by?
Thank you but no – I’m deliberately avoiding hat rut.
And so, even though each days brings the unknown to light
of what this disease has to offer to me,
I’ll keep on keeping on, of that be assured
and I’ll do it with great intensity.