I’ve recently come across a blog I really like – Absolute Twisted Zero – apparently it is a fictional blog following the daily endeavors of a TBI survivor. I’m not sure if the writer has actually sustained a TBI… the language is quite fluid and the thought processes are pretty advanced, IMHO… but that’s not to say they couldn’t be a TBI survivor, all the same. There’s nothing to say we’re not able to by utterly lyrical in our expression, when our brains have been modified by injuries.
Perhaps they are masking their identity because they are a survivor, and they don’t want anyone to find out. Perhaps they are exploring this through fiction, because personal memoir is just too… close… for them.
I can certainly understand why they’d choose fiction, rather than memoir. I’ve often considered doing it, myself, but alas, I am not able to sustain interest in writing fiction on an ongoing basis. And turning my real experiences into different sorts of accounts takes more energy than I can muster.
For me, memoir is the way to go. It’s just so much simpler, easier, and to-the-point for me.
Oh, back to my feelings about Absolute Twisted Zero — One of the things I really love about it, is the emphasis it places on physical activity, physical fitness. Setting goals and reaching for them. Doing the work. Having a plan. Sticking to the program. And being a warrior. It really rings true for me, and in another space and time, it could very easily be the kind of thing I’d write, myself. But I am here, writing as Broken Brilliant, so I will leave them to fill in their corner of our world.
Reading ATZ, I am reminded, yet again, of how necessary it is to work. I am reminded that nothing worthwhile comes without some level of effort, and that the life I wish to (re)build is well worth the effort. I may stumble, I may fall, I may crash and burn… but I always get up again, sooner or later. ATZ helps me get up sooner when I stumble… and just get on with it.
It helps me get off my pity-pot and just do what needs to be done. Make the lists. Use the tools. Keep the focus. Stay grateful for what good I can enjoy, and stay mindful of the progress I’ve made. Eyes on the prize, the prize being more than “normalcy” — it’s the development of these new aspects of myself I’m finding, to either supplement or take the place of the aspects of myself that have fallen away since my last accident… as well as realizing the unique talents and abilities I’ve developed over the years, to compensate for the loss of abilities that are common to most folks.
So, I have issues with my memory… keeping on track… getting started… and I have pain. What of it? There is more — much more — more than I can list here — that I could feel depressed and assailed about, but what would be the point? The only person that would hurt, is me. After all, the rest of the world is busy with itself. What does it care, if I’m having a tough time? It doesn’t. Not because it’s cruel and cold, but because there is just too much going on in the world, for it to pay attention to every person’s list of issues and aches and problems and pains.
And given that so many people are keen on informing the rest of the world about their issues and aches and problems and pains, if one less person chimes in, well, that’s actually a favor I’d be paying to the universe.
So, thank you, Absolute Twisted Zero, for getting me off my butt and raising this work we do to a new level. The prose is moving, the writing is poetic, and it both keeps me honest and inspired.