I don’t know why I let people talk me into doing things I really don’t want to do, to begin with. It’s good to be open to new ideas, and I don’t want to discount possibilities as a knee-jerk reaction. But a lot of times people suggest things to me that don’t make sense for me — they make sense for plenty of other people, but not for my own individual situation.
What I’m talking about specifically is a project I’m working on right now. It’s a pretty big deal, and there are a lot of little details that need to be figured out. After telling people about it, folks have encouraged me to promote in advance and get the word out about what I’m doing. At first, I said, “No, that’s not for me.” But then I thought about it, and they convinced. me. So, I did it. And now I regret it. Doing that promotional thing has sucked up a whole lot of my time and energy that I could/should have been spending on getting details sorted out. But now it’s all out in the open, so I have to discuss it with people who just loveto talk.
The thing with me is that I prefer to do, rather than discuss. Don’t get me wrong – I love to talk about my work. I just need to get things squared away in my head, before I start telling the world about what I’m doing. I work best when I work alone, quite frankly — and on a smaller scale, rather than the global/universal scale everyone else seems to think I should be at.
Now I need to back-pedal a little bit and get myself back on track. Away from the limelight, away from the promotion and marketing fluff. I need to take things one thing at a time, and I need to move forward in a systematic way… not run around and run my mouth about everything that’s happening — before it actually happens. Other people seem very happy and content to involve the rest of the world in everything they do as it’s happening… and how often do they actually deliver on it? That’s the question. Some do, of course, but a lot of people are mostly talk.
When I think about how others encourage me to do things, it seems to me that they are basing what they say on what they see on t.v. and in movies. They seem to believe the hype, and they encourage me to go through with what they see working for others. I appreciate their concern and attempts to support me. I really do.
But I need to do things in my own way, on my own time.
It will all come together. I just need to give it space to get there.