I had a follow-up with my neuropsych today to review the findings from my testing that I did a month or so ago.
Excellent results – a lot of the areas where I had profound struggles — being overwhelmed, being prone to depression, having a sense of inadequacy and not able to deal with much of anything, and intense anger and acting out… much of my formerly high scores have reduced dramatically — often to a normal range.
This is pretty exciting stuff.
It means that no matter how bad it was in the past, it doesn’t have to stay that way.
It means that there is a way to make substantial, dramatic changes in your state of mind and your quality of life, even if TBI is threatening to ruin your life.
It means that there is hope, and with work and dedication and dealing with issues on multiple levels, TBI can be overcome and functionality can be dramatically improved.
There are some areas where I’m still testing farther outside the range than my neuropsych would like to see me. The whole revved thing, the angry/aggressive outburst thing, the sense of being overwhelmed and not able to manage my life… I still have some work to do in those areas.
But in so many ways, I have dramatically improved, through a ton of hard work, a lot of brutal honesty, and continuous attempts to learn and improve.
It’s pretty phenomenal, if I say so myself. The result of so much study and self-examination and really working at getting better with time.
Now, there may be some who will say, “Well, you probably weren’t that bad to begin with…” but they didn’t know me back when. Once upon a time, I was convinced I was damaged goods, incapable of even holding a conversation with people, avoiding everyone, avoiding eye contact, avoiding just about everything that set me off. I was losing it — in so many ways. Money, jobs, relationships, my temper, my self-respect, the works.
Today, it is completely different. It’s not 100% perfect, but nothing is. I still have a long way to go. And yet, that’s fine. Today, it’s not just about where I’m at, but where I’m going and how I’m going to get there.
Four years on, there is incredible evidence that all the nay-sayers who proclaim that after TBI you have to settle for less… well, they’re not necessarily right.