I am looking at the mirror. Right after my stroke, while at the hospital I didn’t want to look at the mirror at all, until I came home. And then I stole only quick peaks, on a need to know basis. Why? I didn’t know how to come to terms with my new look. You see, right half of my face is paralyzed. I cannot smile with my right half, on top I have a droop. So, when I smile or laugh, it is only a half smile, the other side just stays there, doing nothing. Of course that is very peculiar. I remember, only two months ago I was concerned my face getting wrinkles. Now I look at the mirror and think that now my face isn’t going to get any more wrinkles at all. When I reach my 70ies my face will look like a prune on one side, and like a baby on the other side, can you believe it? I smile at that thought with half of my face.
I am so lucky to be alive that I don’t dwell on that thought too much. Now my goal is to speak, period, everything else is just sidetracking.
Concentrate on how to produce the “sh” soundSharp Sharp knife Use a sharp knife.
Ship On the ship I will not go on the ship.
Shy Very shy My niece is very shy.
Shoot Shoot the picture Aim the camera and shoot the picture.
I also have to work on my vowels. As I said multiple times I can easily see and try to reproduce the frontal sounds, but how the mouth cavity and tongue have to be positioned inside the mouth is still a mystery. I cannot differentiate between short vowels and long vowels. Let’s take “e” sound, it can be short as in “it”, or it can be long as in “each” or short as in “egg”. Now how do I position my tongue (half of it not working) inside my mouth to say that. My counselor Marie also has a hard time because she doesn’t know, whether it is my Turkish accent interfering, or whether it is my disability. Finally I bring in Mehmet, and Marie drills him on my exercises to differentiate between both. We decide that Turkish accent substitutes “w” with “v”, “th” with “d” but this is about it. I shall be able to produce every vowel. So I shall continue working than. Eye odd it each Ice on in ear Ike ox ink eat Ion obsess inch ease Irate oblong ill eager Ivy oxford imp either Irony omelet ignore equalize Ideology October imitation eagleeyed Isolation observer ingredient eavesdropping