I am preoccupied with hands.
When I look at the long fingers and relaxed hands of others in my Rockyettes dance ensemble, I am jealous. In contrast, my fingers are short, and my hands are often clenched and achy.
As a child, I was ashamed by my nail-bitten hands. Embarrassment led to clenching.
As an adult when diagnosed with Parkinson’s, a number of neurological tests were administered that involved my hands such as:
Shaky hands have caused me to hide my hands in my pocket or behind my back. While my hands are less shaky since deep brain stimulation, my clenched fists remain.
I am determined to combat my clenched hand problem. I suspect that it’s something similar to speaking loudly and remembering to cue myself by “Think Loud.”
I’m cuing myself all the time with these self-commands:
And the latest, think jazz hands!