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An Ode to Odd News: Tiger Woods, Beans, Bilingual Aphasia, and Thongs

Posted Apr 27 2010 12:00am
Published April 26, 2010 by: Aida Ekberg
Check out an ode to the odd news of April 26, 2010 told in an odd way: in rhyme. From a raunchy Tiger Woods video game to bilingual aphasia, banned thongs, and swastika beans, the odd news  of April 26, 2010 is tasty, sexy, and hard to understand.
An Ode to Odd (But Sexy) Sports News: Tiger Woods a Real Swinger in New Video Game
For those tired of simply teeing off on a pixilated green
Get prepared for a golf video game like none you've ever seen
In this new insane golf game you're sure to always win
Doing your best to juggle mistresses in Tiger Woods Affair Tour 2010
The graphics get rather graphic as you score points by hooking up
And the game gives a whole new meaning to winning the Ryder Cup
So be sure to rack up plenty of points by getting lots of love
But beware of angry-looking blonde babes wielding your golf club
An Ode to Odd News About Funky Uses for Food: Refried Nazi Pride
When protesting an anti-illegal-immigration law it's a bad idea to be mean
So be sure to keep your statement muted with a handful of boring brown beans
An artful vandal's smeared swastika may not have been a display of Nazi pride
But perhaps when protesting racial profiling, it's best not to get refried
An Ode to Odd News About Bizarre Body Functions: Bilingual Aphasia, The Best Way to Learn a New Language
Beware trying to learn a new language because if you hit your head
You might awake to everyone wondering what you just said
Bilingual Aphasia is a condition that can make your life no fun
As you awake from a coma unable to speak in your native tongue
Take it from a Croatian girl who didn't need Rosetta Stone for learnin'
She awoke and only spoke in the foreign language of German
But never fear, the results may fade after brain swelling goes down
And your family will again begin to comprehend your vocal sounds
An Ode to Odd News Involving Undies (Sort of): Mayberry Bans Booty Floss
A town that wants to be Mayberry (with a beach) would make Andy Griffith whistle
But the revealing of too many butts is making some Kure Beach folks bristle
So if you want to don a thong by the beach and give a guy the thrill of his life
Just beware those hostile stares and an officer named Barney Fife
So I hope you've enjoyed this tuneful ode to odd news, a whimsical way to brighten your day and combat the bad news blues.
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