Things at work are weird. They’re getting strained with my boss and my boss’es boss. I can only guess what’s going on with them, but they’ve been acting strange and distant, like they’ve done something wrong… or are planning to do something wrong.
I’m not worried about my position, actually. They really need me in my spot, and my leaving would be a bit of a political nightmare for them. Yes, I’m leaving, and I do feel a little guilty about leaving my co-workers in a lurch. But it’s management’s job to keep people in place and engaged, and if they’re not going to bother, I’m not letting them off the hook.
Management doesn’t seem much interested in managing, these days. Oh, well. Soon that will fall under the category of “Not My Problem”.
Anyway, the past few days have been pretty alienating. The “in club” has all but blocked me out. The others who aren’t in the exclusive inner sanctum clique are marginalized to various extents – me being the most marginalized of all… probably because I’m old enough to know better, and I have a habit of just saying what’s on my mind and telling the truth which gets them in trouble.
And you know what? It was so clear to me last night, as I was dragging my ass in the door, that I need to get out of that political situation and just get back to doing my coding and my technical work. And I remember all over again, why I really thrived in technical environment – it’s very literal work, it’s concrete (well, as concrete as you can get with technologies that don’t actually physically exist beyond what appears on your screen and the 1′s and 0′s in the actual programs), and it’s quite binary. Things are wrong or right no in between. Either they’re done properly or they just don’t work. And you can keep at it and keep trying until you get it, without people being total a$$holes with you because something wasn’t said the right way.
Yeah, I’m motivated now. Way. I’m working on some code samples and my portfolio, so I can show people what I can do. Imagine that showing them what I can do, instead of just flat-out convincing them that they “should” hire me.
I’ve been back from my vacation for a couple of weeks now, and my head is clearer. I’m also getting in the habit of discussing job opportunities with people and then telling them “no” when it doesn’t seem like a good fit. I’ve also got another couple of possibilities on the horizon that might be good for me, too.
We’ll see. They’re very different types of jobs, but they’re both for what I want to do, so either way it could work out.
Bottom line is, I’m back in the swing of things. Now I just need to keep focused on what’s in front of me, not get distracted by all the “shiny objects” around me that get me pulled off in a million different directions, and get ready to rock.