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A toast

Posted Aug 07 2009 7:15pm
The kind of certainty of self-worth and presence of mind that this woman demonstrated when the chips were down is amazing. I hope to cultivate exactly that level-headedness, centered-ness, whatever that thing is. It is a huge and worthy thing to strive toward. If it applied to marriage only, well, whatever. That ship sailed. For me.

But I suspect that it applies to everything. I suspect that I won't be having a boring life, whatever else one might call it (Q's swallow study has been un/re/not scheduled again ). I'm betting that I'll have plenty of opportunity to use those skills, that steady, kind mindset, with my kids, with whatever professional endeavors might come up, with friends. I suppose that this is part of my wondering about that little voice, calling me to change, to growth, to "becoming."

Or how about being able to receive that kind of grace, humbly, with humor, speaking of it and answering the tough questions when the dark clouds have passed? Should she have let him go because he "didn't want her"? Some would give a resounding yes, not even beginning to grasp what she had to pull up from the earth by it's very roots, to have answered his demands the way she did. Perhaps that works for those people...

I wonder if one must move to Montana and/or wrangle 1500 lb. horses in order to be that person?

To a genuine, grown up woman. May we each be one, someday.

(What a thing that would be, huh? All kinds of world-class nonsense would fall, were we leading the daily charge with Love. No small l's. Only Love.)
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