Ask anyone who is living with a hidden illness what bothers them the most about being sick and I will bet you not looking sick will be one of their answers. For the most part I can look past this. I get it all the time. From my Drs, my friends and even my own mother. I understand it but that doesn't make hearing it any less frustrating.
Looking in the mirror, I see what you see. A smile. A little make up. I hear what you hear. My laughing and joking. But I don't feel what you see and hear. On the inside, I have sharp pains that make me want to fall to the floor. Instead I crack a joke and a smile. When I want to cry I force myself to laugh instead. David and I joke about how back in the day I could get up and go after only a hour of sleep and now even 8 isn't enough. I nap more than my kids do. Even though you cant see it, this illness has taken its toll on me. Body and mind.
Who wants to look sick. Every morning I wake up, afraid to look in that mirror. Afraid of the day I see a stranger staring back at me, again. I remember what if felt like to look as bad as I felt. When I was diagnosed, I was pregnant and thought that it was just the pregnancy. I joked that the baby was sucking the life out of me. I had been feeling sick for a while. But I did what most moms do and pushed though. Moms aren't allowed to get sick right? Wrong. Once I got pregnant, things got worse.
Sick does't always mean looking sick! Thankfully with some make up, most days I look presentable. I don't want to look sick so I do my best not to. But that seems to be backfiring on me. What does sick even look like? How about this?
Do I need sunken saggy eyes?
Do I need to lose 40lbs? (don't really answer that! lol)
Looking in the mirror, I see what you see. A smile. A little make up. I hear what you hear. My laughing and joking. But I don't feel what you see and hear. On the inside, I have sharp pains that make me want to fall to the floor. Instead I crack a joke and a smile. When I want to cry I force myself to laugh instead. David and I joke about how back in the day I could get up and go after only a hour of sleep and now even 8 isn't enough. I nap more than my kids do. Even though you cant see it, this illness has taken its toll on me. Body and mind.
Who wants to look sick. Every morning I wake up, afraid to look in that mirror. Afraid of the day I see a stranger staring back at me, again. I remember what if felt like to look as bad as I felt. When I was diagnosed, I was pregnant and thought that it was just the pregnancy. I joked that the baby was sucking the life out of me. I had been feeling sick for a while. But I did what most moms do and pushed though. Moms aren't allowed to get sick right? Wrong. Once I got pregnant, things got worse.
Sick does't always mean looking sick! Thankfully with some make up, most days I look presentable. I don't want to look sick so I do my best not to. But that seems to be backfiring on me. What does sick even look like? How about this?
Do I need sunken saggy eyes?