Against my own advice I’ve dug out a few old tunes I used to do, all in the name of expediting the return of whatever musical prowess I might still have a shot at. One of the main reasons I’ve avoided listening to a lot of music in the last 15 years, other than that I tend to start sounding an awful lot like the artists I admire, is that some songs call up all that old shit. Chris Knight’sThe Band Is Playing To Slowis such a song. Damn me to hell. I love the tune but I don’t like where it puts me emotionally. Or perhaps what it puts me in touch with emotionally. It’s all about loss kiddos. May you doubt it for all your days but that won’t change the fact that it isall about loss.
Anyway, all bets, and rules, are off until Sis and the brats depart. I’m going to eat and sleep and do whatever I have to do to keep from either running away to Nevernever land (ie. binge) or shooting myself. It’s short now. They’ll be leaving on a jet plane, thank god damn. When they’re safely out of my hair I’ll start worrying about trying to restore some emotional equilibrium.
I’ve also decided I’m going to find a doctor for my grandmother who specializes in ancient, even if his name is Jack Kevorkian. If our family doc won’t turn us to somebody I’ll get in the fucking Yellow Pages if I have to. Fuck I may callAction New 5. I can’t stand by another day and watch her suffer all fucking day long with virtually no hope. If they won’t give her the happy, joyous, and free dope then they’ll have to give it to me. It’s not even about her anymore. It’s about me. Probably always was and is. Whatever. Somethings got to be done, even if it’s wrong.
Against my own advice I’ve dug out a few old tunes I used to do, all in the name of expediting the return of whatever musical prowess I might still have a shot at. One of the main reasons I’ve avoided listening to a lot of music in the last 15 years, other than that I tend to start sounding an awful lot like the artists I admire, is that some songs call up all that old shit. Chris Knight’sThe Band Is Playing To Slowis such a song. Damn me to hell. I love the tune but I don’t like where it puts me emotionally. Or perhaps what it puts me in touch with emotionally. It’s all about loss kiddos. May you doubt it for all your days but that won’t change the fact that it isall about loss.
Anyway, all bets, and rules, are off until Sis and the brats depart. I’m going to eat and sleep and do whatever I have to do to keep from either running away to Nevernever land (ie. binge) or shooting myself. It’s short now. They’ll be leaving on a jet plane, thank god damn. When they’re safely out of my hair I’ll start worrying about trying to restore some emotional equilibrium.
I’ve also decided I’m going to find a doctor for my grandmother who specializes in ancient, even if his name is Jack Kevorkian. If our family doc won’t turn us to somebody I’ll get in the fucking Yellow Pages if I have to. Fuck I may callAction New 5. I can’t stand by another day and watch her suffer all fucking day long with virtually no hope. If they won’t give her the happy, joyous, and free dope then they’ll have to give it to me. It’s not even about her anymore. It’s about me. Probably always was and is. Whatever. Somethings got to be done, even if it’s wrong.