I had an EKG test on my brain and the outcome was I had an old age brain and ADD. He didn't said how much but it all made since. Since I was a little girl I have had problems with paying attention, and if there were tasks that I didn't like I would do my best to get out of the tasks. My listening skills were rough. My teachers would notice and this one you know what would always send me out in the hall. If I didn't want to attend a class I would go to the nurse and say I was sick. Somehow I was able to make my temperature go up enough for them to call my mom. Yea!
I use to have this dream that I could find my locker. Then when I found it I couldn’t remember the combination. I always hated combination lockers.
I use to sleep walk. My mom found me walking out the door. I had no idea where I was going.
I would have the same reoccurring dreams of a monster. I would go to the window and there was this big black burly monster pointing a bazooka gun at me. I would start running and then I would lift off the ground and fly from rooftop to rooftop trying to get away. I would always get away. I don’t know what would happen if he caught me. If he did would my life be the same.
I hated school, because I was never. English was very hard for me as well as Math. Even today English and mail haunt me. I wouldn’t even continue College out of fear of taking tests. In High School, I knew that if I made a D in math through the semesters and an F on the exam, I would still past. I don’t think you can do that today.
I’ve always had the problem of paying attention or listening. I would stare at the individual that is giving me instructions or having a conversation of some kind, and I would just stare at them. Sometimes I wouldn’t even know what they were saying. This is embarrassing.
Even today, I have these problems. I have to read instructions over and over again until I can get it, and sometimes I still want. I lose things. Like yesterday I put instruction beside my bed so I would remember where they are when I need them. Now, I can’t find them. I know I put the papers there. This causes my mania to kick in gear. I will start tearing the room upside down and go throughout the house screaming. Sometimes I blame my angel for hiding it.
Forgetfulness and losing things are my two vultures right now. They’re just eating me alive and I don’t know what to do. I can’t blame the drugs because this has been going on for a long time.
I can’t organize. I use to be the guru at organizing. But now everything seems to be in a mess. I organize my room so I can find things. All my eBay items that I sell are all on shelves. I can organize and organize and I’ll still not be able to find things when I need them. What gives?
I wish I knew what to do about this. Having bipolar and ADHD ruined my past life, but I’m not going to let it ruin my future.