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Ugh.

Posted Apr 11 2009 1:03am

That's what I feel like. "Ugh" is what DH always says when he is angry and doesn't know how to express it. "Ugh" when there's a lot troubling him. And that's how I feel tonite, so I'm stealing his expression.

The 4th was not too bad. DH seemed a little peppier, and lit some fireworks off for his mom and my mom who had come for the "big show". Mostly, though, he just stayed in bed. This morning, he couldn't wake up for anything, and he had to go to Spenders. He did get out of bed, but I guess he fell asleep in the meeting and was saying things that didn't make any sense. So he came home, and while I was sleeping, brought DD to visit her bio mom in a situation that was not well-controlled and I could not get him to understand that we probably should have discussed it first, even if it meant he had to wake me up. Eventually I figured it was a lost cause and just "forgot" about it.

After that, DH was basically in bed all day. I guess he got up long enough at about 9pm (I was already on my way to work) to tell DD to go to bed. So she did, for about 5 minutes, until DH went back to bed, then she got up again and made a huge mess. I don't know who to be angry with, since DH should've been supervising her, and DD should've known better anyhow, and Jim was there the whole time.....

And DH brought up his pawn shop crap again, too. "It's time"...."tomorrow's the 6th"....like I'm going to be able to just whip out a wad of bills and pay for all of his stupidity. But if I don't, then I'm not a good wife, then I don't love him, etc....I just hate it all today.

I'm feeling very fed up today. I can't do it all, I just can't. I can't work both of these jobs and still be there to supervise DD and supervise DH too. And do 78 zillion loads of laundry, and a few loads of dishes....oh--and my mom is upset because her ice water at dinner didn't have any ice in it. I tried to tell her that maybe it was just warm out and the ice melted, and she said, "well, it never has before." Ugh.

I feel like everything is out of control and no matter how hard I try, I'm not going to be able to do everything right. So Ugh. Ugh-Ugh-Ugh.

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