Things are getting too loud again. keep talking to myself without realising it. Except I'm talking to that voice the one that contradicts me the one that comes too often. Did it at bus stop today and only realised when people got up and moved away.
Anyway, I saw my consultant and Cco today was due to see another shrink but usual consultant shrink changed things around to see me. We had a chat which I can't really remember exact details because I was easily distracted and found it hard to concentrate. erm. I gave them my meds - all packaged in nice travel bag(was huge-6 months).
Thing is they want me on medication something about the pay off between the lows and highs not being worth it and risk blah.. I think I agreed to start Lithium this week???. Well Cco rang and said so, I need ECG tommorow.
But I am really happy at moment and I don't want it to stop. It's great - well mostly- apart from tha skin crawling hyper-alertness which I find hard to tolerate. And well- I don't know- Lithium it sounds so SERIOUS for people with real illness.
Part of me wants to delete CMHT number and fall off service wagon. Part of me remember one thing Shrink said today 'you were a highly productive person before illness and can't be as things stand, no way you will start uni etc. with these extremes'. I don't know. Am off for walk to use energy. Any Suggestions?