I've been living inside of my mind for the last two weeks with the threat of slipping back into my old ways. I feel as though I am where I was three two years ago. Alone. I was also in my own misery drowning it with a bottle of wine. I didn't want to feel the pain or loneliness that was consuming my mine and body. At this moment I am drinking a glass of wine and please just because I am doesn't mean any body should. I am sick. And the sickness stems from many years of abuse, loneliness, abandonment the undiagnosed mental illness Bipolar.
I feel this way because I'm feel that my son is abandoning me. I moved to North Carolina just to be near him and since I've been here I have hardly seen him. I realize he works so I understand that. I guess I was just asking for too much. Soon I'll be moving in a new place where I hope to have new friends and things to do.
I you or I are not careful darkness can take at our moment of weakness. We must be strong. I must b e strong to know that I can live without anyone holding my hand. I've done it before and I can do it again.