Taking a break due to relapse of clinical depression
Posted Feb 10 2010 6:24pm
Thanks for your visits and prayers. I am taking a short break from blogging due to ill health.
I am down with a relapse of clinical depression. I think I have unknowingly overstrained myself. I am still learning to pace myself and it is not easy to manage this condition. I am looking to our Lord and hoping to return soon to resume communication with all of you.
I am thankful to God that with medical help, I am not as severely clinically depressed as I used to be in past years (I have experienced about 12 or so relapses over 20 years). Knowing that my condition is a medical condition also helps to remove false guilt. I know that my condition is not due to a lack of faith in God or scandalous sins. It is a thorn in my flesh which the Lord in His faithfulness has allowed for my sanctification and growth in Him, and in order too that I can be more useful in His Kingdom.
I am looking to our Lord daily and waiting upon Him for restoration. These few weeks are especially difficult because of some stressful and straining situations in my life. Please pray with me for grace and strength daily. Mornings are the worst part of the day for me. Thank God that there are pockets of time throughout the day which I am more functional and able to do some work as well as help my mother to prepare for Chinese New Year which falls on 14th and 15th February. Chinese New Year is the first day in the Chinese Calendar. My mother is very traditional and Chinese New Year means a lot to her. My siblings will be coming to visit us and we will be preparing meals for them. I am also doing much cleaning up these 2 weeks. My mother does not know of my condition as she will get very worried if she does. She is already very old and have many illnesses, so I can't let her know as it will affect her health. I need much grace from the Lord daily to conduct myself in such a way that will not worry her. Please with me for grace.
The Lord is good through all the changing scenes in life. It takes time to recover, and I am learning to wait patiently upon our loving and gracious Heavenly Father who is working all things for His glory and our good, and our Lord Who promised that His grace is sufficient for us.