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Someone once told me that hope w ...

Posted Sep 22 2009 10:52am

Someone once told me that hope was faith waiting on tomorrow.  But what happens when you cant wait?

It’s a problem for most people I know including me.  Desperation grows and you start to wonder if you are going to make it.  You get scared and it becomes so important you feel better.  It feels like you are suffocating and hope seems like a cruel delusion they try to sell people to keep them quiet. 

I know many people who are basically just afraid of themselves.  In places, that they try to hide, even from themselves they believe that they are diminished in some way.  The message of shame that they are told seems to color everything they do or say.  They just dont believe they are going to make it.  They have too much experience that tells them so.

A guy told me once: “My definition of success.  Simple.  Get from the beginning of the day to the end without catastrophe…..And those successful days  I dont even enjoy like I should.  I’m too worried.  Its not that there is no good news.  I just have a hard time believing it when I hear it.”

When you struggle hard with mental health issues eventually you just wear out.  I really think exhaustion is part of it.  It is for most of the people I know.  You get tired of “working on treatment.”  You just want it to work without you.

So what do you do?

  • Know that it is normal to feel that way.  Everybody feels like things are slipping away when they are not in control.  And it is so hard to know we are not in control.  Its why the serenity prayer is a prayer.  We need help.
  • Look at mistakes and hard times as an opportunity to learn and get ready for next time.  Even to stumble you must be up and walking.
  • Surround yourself with good people.  Especially with people who know what it is like to be scared.  Treasure the people in your life that know that fear need not be terminal.
  • Know that good things come in their own time.  That is one of the things that makes them good.  Some things are worth waiting for.
  • Know that a small step is still a step.
  • Know that you are never the box someone tries to put you in.
  • Know that because someone thinks you are so doesnt make it so.  There is always choices and chances.
  • If you feel like you are always falling down the hill that also means there are hills you can climb.  You must fall from somewhere.
  • Life is not about you.  That is hard to remember when things are going lousy.  It doesnt seem like there is anything else for it to be about.
  • When you look in the mirror and all you see is you look again.  You have a bad angle.
  • Feelings do change.  Rather or  not you think they will or not.
  • Do what you can, but know what you cant.
  • And remember if you aint there yet at least you are closer.

Fear is a hard thing for me.  I get worn out on things being hard.  A friend told me something good once.  He said, “Be grateful for your fear, because it means there are things in life worth caring about and you do.  Dont give up your passions.  Being safe is not worth it if there is nothing worth doing or no one worth caring about.

Fear tries to tell you that there is only one room in the house and you need to make sure everyone else is locked out.  Dont believe it.

Hope is real and tomorrow is worth waiting for however slow you feel like it comes.

Someone once told me that hope was faith waiting on tomorrow.  But what happens when you cant wait?

It’s a problem for most people I know including me.  Desperation grows and you start to wonder if you are going to make it.  You get scared and it becomes so important you feel better.  It feels like you are suffocating and hope seems like a cruel delusion they try to sell people to keep them quiet. 

I know many people who are basically just afraid of themselves.  In places, that they try to hide, even from themselves they believe that they are diminished in some way.  The message of shame that they are told seems to color everything they do or say.  They just dont believe they are going to make it.  They have too much experience that tells them so.

A guy told me once: “My definition of success.  Simple.  Get from the beginning of the day to the end without catastrophe…..And those successful days  I dont even enjoy like I should.  I’m too worried.  Its not that there is no good news.  I just have a hard time believing it when I hear it.”

When you struggle hard with mental health issues eventually you just wear out.  I really think exhaustion is part of it.  It is for most of the people I know.  You get tired of “working on treatment.”  You just want it to work without you.

So what do you do?

  • Know that it is normal to feel that way.  Everybody feels like things are slipping away when they are not in control.  And it is so hard to know we are not in control.  Its why the serenity prayer is a prayer.  We need help.
  • Look at mistakes and hard times as an opportunity to learn and get ready for next time.  Even to stumble you must be up and walking.
  • Surround yourself with good people.  Especially with people who know what it is like to be scared.  Treasure the people in your life that know that fear need not be terminal.
  • Know that good things come in their own time.  That is one of the things that makes them good.  Some things are worth waiting for.
  • Know that a small step is still a step.
  • Know that you are never the box someone tries to put you in.
  • Know that because someone thinks you are so doesnt make it so.  There is always choices and chances.
  • If you feel like you are always falling down the hill that also means there are hills you can climb.  You must fall from somewhere.
  • Life is not about you.  That is hard to remember when things are going lousy.  It doesnt seem like there is anything else for it to be about.
  • When you look in the mirror and all you see is you look again.  You have a bad angle.
  • Feelings do change.  Rather or  not you think they will or not.
  • Do what you can, but know what you cant.
  • And remember if you aint there yet at least you are closer.

Fear is a hard thing for me.  I get worn out on things being hard.  A friend told me something good once.  He said, “Be grateful for your fear, because it means there are things in life worth caring about and you do.  Dont give up your passions.  Being safe is not worth it if there is nothing worth doing or no one worth caring about.

Fear tries to tell you that there is only one room in the house and you need to make sure everyone else is locked out.  Dont believe it.

Hope is real and tomorrow is worth waiting for however slow you feel like it comes.

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