I listened to a great song the other night about life. The line that really stuck with me was, “I will testify to love…” I realized thinking about it that wittingly or unwittingly all of our lives are testimony to something. I began trying to take a very honest look at what my life actually testified to and what I hoped it testified to. Not suprisingly they were not always the same thing.
Everybody testifies to something. I know people whose life has been a testimony to money, a testimony to power, a testimony to sex, a testimony to fear, a testimony to God, and yes a testimony to love. I also started to realize how many people would be startled at the difference between what they testify to in fact and what they hope their life testifies to. It is a really sobering thought. If a perfect stranger looked at a videotape of your life what would he say you are testifying to?
I realized the things that get in the way of my testimony. Fear is a big one. It is so easy to let your life be defined by the things you try hard to avoid or escape. My wife, Linda, has been very sick over the last few years in particular, and sometimes the stress has been bigger than what I can do. At times my life was little more than trying to get out of feeling bad. The things that were most important to me were not treated as most important and I look back with regret on the times when the testimony of my life was so short of what I wanted it to be.
I have known very good loving people whose testimony has been derailed by some lingering resentments or anger that just seems to always seep into their daily living despite their best efforts. I had a friend who described it in a very unique way. He said that just because we know what is important doesn’t mean we believe it. He was saying the proof of the talk was in the walk. I think maybe he is right.
I think our heart is ultimately revealed in our testimony. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is in Proverbs 4:23- “Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of all life.”
I sincerely hope when all is said and done and you look back that you are pleased with the testimony of your life. Maybe it is our most important gift we can give our children.