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Recovery: 30 ways to make it better…30 ways to make it worse

Posted Apr 11 2013 10:56pm

To make it better:

  1. Find the bright spots in life.  Find the things that you do that work and do them more often.  Emulate success.  Nothing is a problem 100% of the time.  Whatever you are doing when it is not a problem do more often.
  2. If a problem was solved how would you know?  What would the video-tape of the solution look like?  What can you do right now that would be part of the solution?  Do it.
  3. Decide specifically what you are going to do if you want to change something.  Change is a process that without a first step doesnt have a second step.
  4. Be part of something you think matters.
  5. Life your life by what is important and dont be deceived by the cry of urgency.
  6. Know the way you feel is important, but it is not all that is important.
  7. Show other people they matter to you.
  8. Find people you matter to.
  9. Know that falling down teaches you how to get up, not an excuse to stay down.
  10. Know where  you are going and why it is important.  A lot of things are bearable if there is a reason to persist.
  11. It is hard to stop treating something as important–even if it is messing our life up– if we dont find something more important.
  12. What you know in life is important but what you care about gives it direction.
  13. Remember you have an endless capacity to make stupid things seem brilliant.
  14. Remember you have an endless capacity to make brilliant things seem stupid.
  15. Remember nothing is forever.  Good times go away, but so do bad.  Be grateful for what you have, but not crushed by what you dont.
  16. The most difficult fight for most of us is realizing what there is no point in fighting about.
  17. Remember courage is what you do when you are scared, not the absence of being scared.
  18. Tell your story often, but listen to the story of others.  There is much to learn.
  19. Life is not about you or me.  If it was it would not be about much.
  20. Neither of us are God.  Thank Goodness.
  21. Do things that help to make you the kind of person you want to be.
  22. Practice.  It doesnt make perfect, but it does make different.
  23. When you can deal with the stress of everyday life, you begin to appreciate the joy of everyday life.
  24. When you try to do more than you can you end up not doing anything.
  25. Appreciate small steps.
  26. Be glad we dont always get our way.
  27. Just because we dont see it doesnt mean things dont make sense.
  28. You are more than what you are called.
  29. Others are more than what you call them.
  30. There are many things that make life better.  The list goes far past 30.

To make it worse:

  1. Misunderstanding the problem.  Being mistaken or incorrect about the way you identify the problem.  Identify the wrong problem.  Identify a problem that doesnt exist.  Identify a problem that is real, but doesnt really cause the problems you are concerned with.
  2. Buying into the idea that there is nothing  you can do to improve your life.  Identifying yourself as a victim and becoming reconciled to that.  Believing that nothing you do matters.
  3. Buying into the idea that things getting better are dependent solely on what other people do.  Becoming dependent and passive.
  4. Buying into the idea that because of some diagnosis or label that you are deficient as a person and many things that are normal expectations for other people are not normal expectations for you.
  5. Buying into the idea that you will never be happy and that life will always be a torture for you.
  6. Refusing to look at things honestly because you are afraid that what you see will make you look bad.
  7. Doing things that are within your control that make the stress of everyday living worse.
  8. Refusing to do things that could lessen stress  because you really dont want to change or dont want to do something hard or inconvenient.
  9. Not finding people or a person you can count on to listen to you, support you, and be honest with you.
  10. Having no friends.
  11. Having nothing that you like to do in life or look forward to doing on a daily basis.
  12. Not feeling like you are part of something that matters.
  13. Having problems managing negative feelings- particularly anxiety, sadness, fear, and anger.
  14. Not learning to anticipate problems and developing plans to deal with them as they occur.
  15. Not learning to accept the things that you have no control over.
  16. Consistently not considering the consequences of your actions before you act.
  17. Not believing there is a purpose to your life or that you can find a purpose in your life.
  18. Trying to do more than you can do.
  19. Not trying to do enough.
  20. Finding nothing in your life to be grateful about.
  21. Never forgiving anyone who does you wrong.
  22. Believing you can never matter  to another human being.
  23. Measuring who you are by what others think of you.
  24. Believing that life is about you and nothing but you.
  25. Having no place in your life for God or a higher truth.
  26. Not knowing that some things that feel bad can be good for you.
  27. Not knowing that some things that  feel good are very dangerous.
  28. Not remembering when things seem so bad you cant stand it that life is about change and even the bad things dont last for ever.
  29. Not knowing that hope is real, love counts, and you make a difference.
  30. Not knowing that in giving to others you allow yourself to keep what is important.

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