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Recovering Alcoholic Always an Alcoholic: Like it Or Not

Posted Jun 05 2010 9:18pm

That sounds hard but it's the truth.  Just because you quit drinking doesn't mean your sober for every. Your always recovering.  Once a Alcoholic always an Alcoholic.  I know.

Back in 2002, I tried to kill myself.  I was not successful.  I had been on a binge drink for 6 weeks.  I mean 24 hours a day in the same chair I wake up in and same the chair I go to sleep in.  I got to depressed and so tired of drinking I wanted to leave this earth for peace.  I sat on the balcony of my apartment crying with a broken piece of glass just sawing at my wrist.  Singing "up and down up and down and then I'm gone."  I got up at some point at went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror at the sorry site of a lady who use to have everything she thought.  Then her son went into the army and her five year relationship was a lie.   In one night it all fell apart.

As I was looking in the mirror I saw this glow, I mean it.  I was drawn to look at the glass I had in my hand and then suddenly I saw a image of my son.  I do believe God was intervening with the image of my son.  It was not my time.

When I got out of rehab I went to Austin thinking it was a great place to recover and get with the plan of nature.  Wrong.  The first thing I did when I got freedom was go and get a bottle of wind. I drank that sucker like it was water.  Than one evening I went with some friends to 6th street.  Oh, yea, I could drank.  I hadn't drank in 7 months.  I drank shots of organism and shots of tequila.  At the moment, I went to walk out the club, which was so crowded.  You couldn't even see a path out the door. I tried to move through the crowd and then suddenly a chair came out of nowhere and hooked my ankle that just cracked! I could feel it.  Then I went off balance and fell backwards with my leg behind me (Like Joe Thiesman), breaking my tibia, fibia, & ankle.  

I remember crying in the lap of the lady who had pulled out her chair and she was apologizing. yet comforting me. I just kept crying how bad hurt!  The ambulance arrived and put a wrap around my neck because the girl said I hit my head real hard.  I don't remember anything after that until the next morning when I awoke screaming.

My parents were there. How! I don't know.  But I was screaming out of  my skull.  The pain was so intense.  My leg had been operated on and a rod had been placed from my ankle to my knee and pins in placed along my ankle and knee.

This is the repercussions of drinking too much  - Alcoholic. So If you want o have a grand time go ahead.  You could die or you could be lucky like me.  I could of walked across the street not paying any attention and a car hit me.  I wouldn't be here today to see my grandchildren.  Thank you for listening.
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