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pre-sunrise

Posted Jun 26 2008 5:06am


Slept halfway decent last night so when Roscoe pawed me about 5:30 it wasn’t too much of a problem to get up and take him out. The Welbutrin seems to be taking most of the grogginess off the Seroquel, at least this morning.

A social worker from the hospice is supposed to come by this morning. It will be interesting to see if she talks my grandmother into sticking with it. My grandmother and I share a sort of introverted/reclusive tendency so a lot of hoopla and superficial bullshit doesn’t really turn her on. Still, I think she’s only feeling marginally better and that’s probably in response to the hospice. (A positive reaction to something she perceives as a negative stimulus.)

I think I’ve mentioned before that I like to spend money when the emotional winds are dashing me on the rocks. I’ll tell myself I don’t need something and a few minutes later I find myself mulling the same something over. It’s an obsession I think, not with any particular item, but with some or all of the process of actually acquiring something new. (Or used.)

I noticed it, big-time, last night. Items I’ve been considering…

  • an HD television
  • a DVD player
  • another guitar
  • a banjo
  • a multitrack recorder

Seems like there are some other items too but I can’t recall them right now. I really don’t need or even want any of the above, save possibly a banjo and/or a DVD player. Unfortunately I’m more than capable of “investing” in any of those things, or just about anything else that catches my eye. I really don’t know what it’s about. I’m not an especially materialistic person. (A tad eccentric perhaps.) There’s just not that much action to be had from ringing shit up. Anyway, I’d like to get through the day without buying anything I don’t really want.

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