i wrote this last year, but i still find it to apply and fit in with what goes on these days. so i will share it with you. maybe it can't be called a poem, and it is writen pretty rough. i thought about going through and editing it now, but i am too tired (i am sick and i combined an awkward amount of vicodin and ativan and now am about to pass out!). i hope you like this, or can at least relate to it somehow.
the Struggle feel it converging creeping up again foreboding clouds moving quick over vast empty plains thunder rolls and lightening strikes crashing down like waves driving my body into the ground sun is blotted out what have I become myself consumed by the storm falling down upon my knees thick dark evil coursing through my veins cut lower sinking into the earth surrounded by cold tears crying out loud unease fills my core try to run there’s no shelter fight against the squall body filled with rage losing touch losing myself life being drained away sadness consumes fear devours alone in this world loss of control the might of the storm it has me at once cut off from the world they cannot recover me i am lost to nature held in her grasp Searching for quiet peering down at the earth i want to jump end this pain cease the madness i break tears fall down like rain darkness pushed upon me, i fall to my knees to never rise again
***
darkness fades clouds break sun peeking down onto the rain drenched plains sunshine warms my body breathing fresh life the pain within fades peace is discovered again the bright orb smiles in the sky beckoning me to come close i change my path turn my face towards the sky feeling the life flow through me i start after the yellow glow my speed quickens the distance grows my body shirts into high gear doing more and going further running faster into the sun forces within begin to shift things around move too quick i cannot slow down at once I am upon the sun burned by the hostile flames consumed by the infamous fire panic rises anxiety heightens losing touch with what is real pressure surges within my head whirling faster and faster fueled by the blazing sun i’m scared and alone afraid of myself adrift in the madness i struggle harder the sun splits open cascading flames plummet to earth i tumble through the air crashing
***
collide with the ground haul myself up shift my ear towards the west hear a familiar sound black clouds moving with haste They’ll be here in a few breaths bewildered sun raining down flames nixing with the crashing storm running again nowhere to turn surrounded by polar forces flames in my mind sorrow in my heart tangling with each other i feel each of them at once fire in my veins darkness consumes my chest feel the surge of heat and the chill of demons tearing at my insides i run faster far from all I know dark clouds and fire on my heels exhaustion knocks me down lying face first in the soggy mud thunder clashes lighting strikes rain pours from the sky the blazing sun is nonextant fire and flames are gone sun is blotted out what have I become consumed by the storm falling down upon my knees thick dark evil coursing through my veins cut lower sinking into the earth the storm owns me again…
i wrote this last year, but i still find it to apply and fit in with what goes on these days. so i will share it with you. maybe it can't be called a poem, and it is writen pretty rough. i thought about going through and editing it now, but i am too tired (i am sick and i combined an awkward amount of vicodin and ativan and now am about to pass out!). i hope you like this, or can at least relate to it somehow.
the Struggle
feel it converging
creeping up again
foreboding clouds moving quick
over vast empty plains
thunder rolls
and lightening strikes
crashing down like waves
driving my body into the ground
sun is blotted out
what have I become
myself consumed by the storm
falling down upon my knees
thick dark evil
coursing through my veins
cut lower
sinking into the earth
surrounded by cold tears
crying out loud
unease fills my core
try to run
there’s no shelter
fight against the squall
body filled with rage
losing touch
losing myself
life being drained away
sadness consumes
fear devours
alone in this world
loss of control
the might of the storm
it has me at once
cut off from the world
they cannot recover me
i am lost to nature
held in her grasp
Searching for quiet
peering down at the earth
i want to jump
end this pain
cease the madness
i break
tears fall down like rain
darkness pushed upon me,
i fall to my knees
to never rise again
***
darkness fades
clouds break
sun peeking down
onto the rain drenched plains
sunshine warms my body
breathing fresh life
the pain within fades
peace is discovered again
the bright orb smiles in the sky
beckoning me to come close
i change my path
turn my face towards the sky
feeling the life flow through me
i start after the yellow glow
my speed quickens
the distance grows
my body shirts into high gear
doing more and going further
running faster into the sun
forces within begin to shift
things around move too quick
i cannot slow down
at once I am upon the sun
burned by the hostile flames
consumed by the infamous fire
panic rises
anxiety heightens
losing touch with what is real
pressure surges within my head
whirling faster and faster
fueled by the blazing sun
i’m scared and alone
afraid of myself
adrift in the madness
i struggle harder
the sun splits open
cascading flames plummet to earth
i tumble through the air
crashing
***
collide with the ground
haul myself up
shift my ear towards the west
hear a familiar sound
black clouds moving with haste
They’ll be here in a few breaths
bewildered
sun raining down flames
nixing with the crashing storm
running again
nowhere to turn
surrounded by polar forces
flames in my mind
sorrow in my heart
tangling with each other
i feel each of them at once
fire in my veins
darkness consumes my chest
feel the surge of heat
and the chill of demons
tearing at my insides
i run faster
far from all I know
dark clouds and fire on my heels
exhaustion knocks me down
lying face first in the soggy mud
thunder clashes
lighting strikes
rain pours from the sky
the blazing sun is nonextant
fire and flames are gone
sun is blotted out
what have I become
consumed by the storm
falling down upon my knees
thick dark evil
coursing through my veins
cut lower
sinking into the earth
the storm owns me again…