I'm medicated. I've brokenthcardinal sin of treatment: don't drink. The wine flows through me. I love it. Bottles have begun to pile up. The purging has gone down, but the drinking has gone up. What am I to do? It's the end of the semester. I know I can push through, make it. I know when I go home, I will basically go on a three-week binge. I'm almost eager for it. I laugh at the thought. Part of my hates the alcohol. Part of me can't live with out it. The latter part is the poet, the writer at all hours, doing mad things, the things of a person with manic depression. I seePlatheticovertones in my behaviors and thoughts. I am tragic. I am social. I am broken when I speak. I want to escape, but I feel hopeful now. I am trapped by my disordered thoughts and compulsions. I want a way out but I've lost the urge to do it. All I can do is say I have it. I'm ashamed I'm drinking again. I will lie to my therapist and psychiatrist about it. What point would there be in telling them now? I go on holiday in two weeks. I honestly can't wait. I just want moreAbilify(10mg) so I can deal with the anxiety. 2.5 from 5mg isn't cutting it, sorry. I need more.
I'm medicated. I've brokenthcardinal sin of treatment: don't drink. The wine flows through me. I love it. Bottles have begun to pile up. The purging has gone down, but the drinking has gone up. What am I to do? It's the end of the semester. I know I can push through, make it. I know when I go home, I will basically go on a three-week binge. I'm almost eager for it. I laugh at the thought. Part of my hates the alcohol. Part of me can't live with out it. The latter part is the poet, the writer at all hours, doing mad things, the things of a person with manic depression. I seePlatheticovertones in my behaviors and thoughts. I am tragic. I am social. I am broken when I speak. I want to escape, but I feel hopeful now. I am trapped by my disordered thoughts and compulsions. I want a way out but I've lost the urge to do it. All I can do is say I have it. I'm ashamed I'm drinking again. I will lie to my therapist and psychiatrist about it. What point would there be in telling them now? I go on holiday in two weeks. I honestly can't wait. I just want moreAbilify(10mg) so I can deal with the anxiety. 2.5 from 5mg isn't cutting it, sorry. I need more.
-Mt