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Outpatient Therapy: Done! (But Really More About Women…Bad ADD Day?)

Posted Aug 28 2007 12:00am

Stats are down, time to make a post! Joking, I’m not a stats whore–but I should have more because I switched to WordPress after starting my Blogger blog. Import! All posts here from the very humble beginning last November.

Actually, I really don’t think I’m any kind of whore–just a flirt? Poor damewiggy just got a cannonball fired in her direction in one of my latest comments! Hopefully, she’ll be back.

So, I meant to post this last night but I had some female trouble. HA! That makes me sound like my period was giving me grief. No, no…I went down to my pub (again…’geez that place is like flies on shit!) The only question remaining is am I the fly or am I the shit? Anyway, I met this girl/woman (actually as time grew on more like a girl) which was indeed rare as my pub is men, men, men. Things were going along in a sort of interesting manner but…hmmm. I still wasn’t sure of some things (like completely of her sexual preference!) but keep going with it. Well, I found out later that she’d had about 6+ drinks and was continuing to drink. I had not had that much and was ready to go home.

Alright. Here we go. Five letter word across, beginning with “T.” Anyone else do crosswords? “Tease.” Let’s just say I’m not expecting my phone to ring anytime soon.

So yes, outpatient group done. I have to see Merlin tomorrow and I guess yesterday was my last scheduled day? I almost can’t believe how quickly it flew by toward the end but I guess it’s just like fleeting summers. And I did miss some sessions, again, due to appointments.

It’s funny. Even though I found it so tedious and boring at times, I’m almost going to kind of miss it. I don’t know why because I really hated going! I felt a strange sort of–almost melancholy on the way home. Maybe because on my last day, my mood was good and I was acting up like the class clown as I had done during some previous sessions when I was feeling more “up.”

Maybe it’s also because the outpatient group was a reminder of my hospitalization earlier in the spring. I mean, it had its good points and bad points but there were times when we (well a gang of us) as inpatients had a lot of fun and laughs. At least I had some social contact back then–even if we were all a bunch of nutbars. Nothing wrong in that though. Yes, it could be this too.

Ha…and another reason to miss it? I won’t be seeing attractive Rec. Therapist anymore. Another one who I don’t think is going to call me. For those who haven’t been following along, I’ve been flirting with her almost since the beginning of the program and there was some…well, quite friendly stuff going on but as I left yesterday she simply seemed more professional than she had ever been with me and said that perhaps she’d see me walking around the neighbourhood (we live in the same area.)

Oh, the rejection! Crushed by attractive Rec. Therapist who initially said she would go out to dinner with me after I finished the program and then, the run in with bullshit, flirty, tease girl last night!

I’m just kidding everyone. Wow, after YEARS of trying to figure out how to ask another woman out on a date…well, I am no stranger to rejection! And believe me, it is still very hard for me to even try to get a woman to go out with me. They are very strange creatures and I know that sounds even stranger for me to say as I am one but well, perhaps I am “different.”

Okay, yes, I am–half the time I think I’m from another planet. Maybe that’s it. But seriously, I do find women to be, for the most part as I don’t like generalizations, very complicated. However, I don’t see myself as very complicated at all–at least in terms of being a tease and not being straightforward about being interested in someone. A flirt, yes; a tease I am most certainly not!

But maybe I am complicated beyond that. My track record with relationships does not please me at all.

I used to say that I was “laid back.” Ex-partner was like, “No way. You are not laid back!” I countered, “What do you mean?” She brought up a lot of examples of my anxieties and mentalness and I was sort of…oh…I guess I kind of see your point? But she didn’t mean it in a bad way–she was just terribly insightful.

So perhaps I am more “complicated” than I perceive myself to be? If the sky above parts in two and the sun turns purple and I actually ever DO find myself in a relationship again well–I guess we can find out?

Okay, maybe this wasn’t all too tripped out of an ADD post? Easy enough to follow? I can’t tell as by the time I got home and went to bed I got shite sleep last night and then had to go into work this morning–I am completely knackered. I can’t decide if I should have a wee lie down or zone out in front of the television. Or try and read some blogs as I am woefully behind on if not so many of you–ALL of you.

And I’d really like to try and get back into the med blog arena. Wow! Talk about being behind there! I used to be pretty on the ball with that stuff and even tried to write more pseudo-science-y stuff. I don’t know if any med bloggers still read me?! Well, there is one doctor who is a regular and one nurse showed up that positively thrilled me not long ago but crap…there used to be more. And oh, wait…Rob showed up recently–also an MD.

Okay, those last two paragraphs were a bit ADD. Scatter…scatter…

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