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On when life gets in the way of recovery

Posted Nov 07 2009 10:03pm

Recovery is not where you go, but how you get there. It is as much a process as a product. But sometimes life gets in the way.

A major part of recovery (certainly not the only part) is how we get along with other people. We are “hard-wired” to connect with other people and there is ample evidence to suggest that when that part of our life goes well other areas also go well. Personal renewal is a core of recovery, but if you are going to walk the walk and not just talk the talk, there will also be a renewal of how you connect with other people.

But relationships are sometimes inconvenient and we often let other things take precedence. Simple busyness has a way of destroying our focus on what is important in life. Urgency replaces importance. Life becomes a “to do” list and the anxiety about what we havent done captures our attention and daily focus. We dont even have time to listen to each other. Rather than listen with an intent to understand we listen with an intent to reply. People become one more thing to get done.

All of us have things that we use to enlarge ourselves: money, status, power, things, feeling good. I have known some people who desperately want to improve their lives “as long as…..” As long as it does not require them to risk the “stuff” of their life. We try to find ways to “be different” without “doing different” and not so strangely find it hard to do.

Recovery is first about priorities. It is about becoming an expert on your life and your issues and applying that expertise in pursuit of the life you desire and were meant to live. As much as it is a getting it is a giving up. The pursuit of some things, some people, and some values for some folks simply get in the way. And the decision to move in a different direction is something that is never done, but must be renewed each day. A friend of mine once told me his recovery was a “miracle…” But it was he said “a miracle that must be redone each day.”

Life can get in the way of recovery, even for the most sincere people. Take a look and ask if this is an issue for you.

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