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ON what makes it worse…..a lot worse

Posted Mar 26 2010 12:51pm

All of us have things that make life worse.  Most of us have things that make it a lot worse- people, relationships, situations, demands, thoughts, feelings and tasks- that for all practical purposes we act almost like we are allergic to them.  Our ability to tolerate them is low and our responses to them almost always start or create some type of process that leads to problems in life that  tend often to have disastrous consequences for us and the people around us.

With these things it doesnt matter how hard we try.  It doesnt matter how much we are motivated.  Somehow our capacity to cope with these circumstances is limited and they tend to trigger more serious problems.

They are are “sore spots.”  They are our vulnerablity, our fallibility.  I have known people who were “allergic” to other people, to other situations, to certain feelings or thoughts, to parts of their daily routine or tasks.  The list is probably endless.

A large part of making it in life is knowing what you cant handle.  It is not always something you know.  Most of us have something in our life we view as essential that is extremely toxic to the stability of our life.  Often we need help from others to see what is right in front of our face.  One of the things that make so many “sore spots” so harmful is their ability to hide from us in plain sight.

It is important to note that something being toxic and you not liking it are not the best things.  Just ask anyone struggling with any kind of addictive issues.  Sometimes the most toxic things are those we like the best.

If your life is unstable, if the stress of everyday living is simply too much this is one idea you might look at.  Is there a way to reduce the “toxic” elements of your life?  One could argue that the wisest approach to life is decreasing the likelihood of negative things, increasing the likelihood of positive things and learning to accept and be at piece with those things you cant affect at all.

Perhaps if you think about you might find things you could change that might give you more leverage over your life.  Tell me what you think.


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