Not the best place or time? Well, there’s never a good time!
And they’re never good!
I was on the Subway/Underground/Metro/Whatever to meet J. We were going to do something really cool. Something fun. Or at least I thought so. Now when does PA actually go out and do anything “cool” and “fun?”
Well, how’s this for fun? A relatively, exciting Simple Partial Motor Seizure on the above form/s of transit at rush hour, completely packed. I’m trying to get out at my stop, already looking completely spazzerific and then when I actually have to stand?
EDIT: When my legs started to jangle at first, two lovely ladies let me sit down but I told them I didn’t have far to go.
So this is when it gets (or got?) rough. I’m still kind of seizing but I have to meet J. or he’ll be WTF? I’m still underground so if he calls, I won’t get his call on my mobile…especially if I were to totally fall down or something ridiculous—highly unlikely but at this bloody point let’s not start ruling out the damn tonic-clonics! I’ve already fallen down with Atonics so just add some insanely, whacked, out-of-control muscle movements and ta da!
EDIT: Thank bloody god they didn’t hit the “Emergency Bar” while I was on transit! Having any kind of issue…ugh…off to the hospital…where they can do nothing…
I had to make it up several levels to meet J., still bouncing and nearly toppling away. And from the beginning…everyone staring all the time. On the Subway…or whatever you wish to call it and then me trying to make my way to him. Everyone staring.
You just have to get used to it when you have seizures in public. Or at least the seizures that you have when you’re still “there.” When you’re conscious or at least semi-conscious. With Complex Partials or tonic-clonics where you lose consciousness…well, I guess you wouldn’t have a clue how everyone was staring at you. But you can be damn well sure that they ARE staring at you.
Boy, did I feel that last night. Even though I was pretty out of it, I did. It was creepy, sensing everyone around me looking and wondering…
“What is WRONG with this girl or woman?”
“She looks kind of ill? But WHAT kind of ill?”
“Oh, I know! She’s all kind of twisty and shaky and can’t walk very well! Maybe it’s CP! Oh, that’s it…nevermind. She’ll be fine. She’s used to it. Had it all her life…those with CP. They’re okay.”
“Whoa! Getta load of that! I have NEVER seen someone THAT messed up!”
“That girl…now she doesn’t LOOK homeless…and she’s got a laptop bag? Okay she could have all of her junk in that but no…she just…doesn’t look like some kind of strung out homeless person.”
“That girl is seriously fucked. She has some definite problems. Mentally? She’s CRAZY. Just keep walking. Don’t turn around.”
Welcome to having seizures in public.
I met J. before our “cool and fun” outing. He took one look at me and just grabbed me.
All I said was: “This really wasn’t a good time for this to happen.”