MIL: Oh, hi, sweetie, I didn't know you'd be sleeping...
Me: Oh, that's ok.
MIL: Say, we're coming up tomorrow, do you think you'd have any time to maybe go out to lunch or something?
Me: Oh, sure! We could go out to lunch...!
MIL: Ok, then, great! How are you doing?
Me: Oh, I'm fine, things are calming down...(she knows that things have bee tough with my mom...)
MIL: Say, you know, I gave DH $160 for his car insurance to give you, did he give that to you?
Me: Um, uh, hang on a second....oh, jeez, dropped the phone....
MIL: Well, he gave that to you, right? It's for the car insurance.
Me: Um...I guess you should talk to DH about that. (By far not my quickest response, or smartest, but I truthfully don't have any idea where we'd get another $160.00 now that he's spent it all...
MIL: HE DIDN'T GIVE THAT TO YOU???? DID HE SPEND THAT????
Me: I don't know, you should probably talk to him.
(DH still won't tell me what he spent the money on, just that he doesn't have any of it left and that he had, according to him, "a giant mood swing")
MIL: I CAN'T BELIEVE HE SPENT THAT MONEY, DID HE SPEND ALL THAT MONEY?
Me: I'm not sure.
I really did not know what to say. I'm very angry that he spent that money, when his mom gave it to us to help us out. I'm very angry that he won't tell her the truth. But it's really not my place to tell her, either. I didn't want to lie to her. I really didn't know how to handle it.
I know she's going to ask me about it again tomorrow. I don't know what to say. I wish I felt comfortable telling her, "Look. Any cash that he has in his hands, including the cash that you gave him to give to me to buy nylons and strapless bra for DD's formal dance, it all gets spent. Every cent. Unless you put it in my hand, I'm not going to see it. That's just how it is these days."
But it's her son I'm talking about. And blood is thicker than water, of course. And of course, not only is that going to make waves with DH and his mom, but also waves between DH and me....just not my place. But I wish it was. I hope some day she'll see the light without my help. But you know, after you've known a person to be responsible for so long, it's very hard to come to the realization that they aren't any more....