Dang it. I hate it when I realize I am depressed. I mean I really hate it. I had a medication change a couple of months ago and it triggered mania. I have decided mania is pretty fun. It is, however, a slippery slope to depression. In the midst of it all comes that blasted anxiety. I honesty believe that I will be like this forever (depressed) this brings me terror morning, noon, and night. Now I know it’s not true. For ten years I have dealt with this thing called bipolar. I have learned the anxiety only goes so far, the depression does not last years, and the mania, well it just does not come around enough.
I hate loosing my humor. It is the humor that gives me a feeling of living. If you can’t laugh you feel dead. I know this sounds like a downer post, I’m sorry. I know soon I will be in a better place. I am kind of like the weather. I will change. Not every day is sunny, or cloudy, or stormy. There are some days it feels like forever.
Just rambling here, but if it never happened. If the humor never returned, could I accept even that? I would have to and the closer I come to acceptance, I edge toward recovery. Odd, but embracing all the feelings causing them to lose their power. Even the humor.
Dang it. I hate it when I realize I am depressed. I mean I really hate it. I had a medication change a couple of months ago and it triggered mania. I have decided mania is pretty fun. It is, however, a slippery slope to depression. In the midst of it all comes that blasted anxiety. I honesty believe that I will be like this forever (depressed) this brings me terror morning, noon, and night. Now I know it’s not true. For ten years I have dealt with this thing called bipolar. I have learned the anxiety only goes so far, the depression does not last years, and the mania, well it just does not come around enough.
I hate loosing my humor. It is the humor that gives me a feeling of living. If you can’t laugh you feel dead. I know this sounds like a downer post, I’m sorry. I know soon I will be in a better place. I am kind of like the weather. I will change. Not every day is sunny, or cloudy, or stormy. There are some days it feels like forever.
Just rambling here, but if it never happened. If the humor never returned, could I accept even that? I would have to and the closer I come to acceptance, I edge toward recovery. Odd, but embracing all the feelings causing them to lose their power. Even the humor.
No Humor Here
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Dang it. I hate it when I realize I am depressed. I mean I really hate it. I had a medication change a couple of months ago and it triggered mania. I have decided mania is pretty fun. It is, however, a slippery slope to depression. In the midst of it all comes that blasted anxiety. I honesty believe that I will be like this forever (depressed) this brings me terror morning, noon, and night. Now I know it’s not true. For ten years I have dealt with this thing called bipolar. I have learned the anxiety only goes so far, the depression does not last years, and the mania, well it just does not come around enough.
I hate loosing my humor. It is the humor that gives me a feeling of living. If you can’t laugh you feel dead. I know this sounds like a downer post, I’m sorry. I know soon I will be in a better place. I am kind of like the weather. I will change. Not every day is sunny, or cloudy, or stormy. There are some days it feels like forever.
Just rambling here, but if it never happened. If the humor never returned, could I accept even that? I would have to and the closer I come to acceptance, I edge toward recovery. Odd, but embracing all the feelings causing them to lose their power. Even the humor.
Dang it. I hate it when I realize I am depressed. I mean I really hate it. I had a medication change a couple of months ago and it triggered mania. I have decided mania is pretty fun. It is, however, a slippery slope to depression. In the midst of it all comes that blasted anxiety. I honesty believe that I will be like this forever (depressed) this brings me terror morning, noon, and night. Now I know it’s not true. For ten years I have dealt with this thing called bipolar. I have learned the anxiety only goes so far, the depression does not last years, and the mania, well it just does not come around enough.
I hate loosing my humor. It is the humor that gives me a feeling of living. If you can’t laugh you feel dead. I know this sounds like a downer post, I’m sorry. I know soon I will be in a better place. I am kind of like the weather. I will change. Not every day is sunny, or cloudy, or stormy. There are some days it feels like forever.
Just rambling here, but if it never happened. If the humor never returned, could I accept even that? I would have to and the closer I come to acceptance, I edge toward recovery. Odd, but embracing all the feelings causing them to lose their power. Even the humor.